Alright people, listen up! There’s another poop joke in this chapter….And i promise, it’s the last one! For the sake of those who actually went through it, I’ll be posting another chapter in a bit! Other than that, good luck soldier.
Road trip in a Dead World
I’m an idiot!
I completely forgot that zombies respond to sounds!!
For now, I’ve ran toward a car I found while looking for a way out.
This thing has fuel but no electricity!
We need to hurry up and get this running, or we’re going to get eaten by the zombies…
Our only saving grace is that they’re pretty much slow.
“Damn! How can the battery be dead?!”
I’m currently looking at the black SUV.
I mean, if we’re talking about a zombie apocalypse, your ride has to be an SUV!
I tried looking at Acil, but the culture-shock is too much on her.
Zombies were still within her range of prediction, but seeing the skyscrapers and cars has set her in a daze.
Where’s the cool Acidalia that throws daggers at any given moment?!
Noticing the zombies getting near us in a horrifying numbers, i quickly grab Acil’s hand and push her inside the SUV.
She then came back to her senses.
“Hey Acil! I don’t care if you stare in the middle of the air all day long, but can you at least use your godly abilities?!”
As soon as I said that, Acil bit her lower lip.
Her gaze changed from shock to regret.
“It seems that you can’t…..”
I don’t want to use my powers at all!!
But this leaves me no choice.
“「I, The possessor of all knowledge have understood the laws and hereby bend them to my will!」
「STATIC!」” [A/N: Sorry for not being creative with the incantaattiooon~]
For those who are shocked, after I returned to heaven, I regained my abilities from my first life!
With that said, my right arm which was extended toward the wheel had a sharp pain run through it.
And with that, all the power that was in my right arm transferred to the battery in the car through the steering wheel.
And now……my right arm is unusable.
The roaring engine freaked out Acil while it attracted even more zombies toward us.
“Damn! But no matter, with this over here….I can run over them all I want!”
I quickly decided to drive at full force, taking down all the zombies in front of me.
“Wooooaaaahh!? Just what is this?! is this an automatic carriage?!?!”
“Shut up for a second, will you?!”
I said toward the useless goddess that is supposed to be my master.
Acil then glanced toward me and was dumbfounded.
“W-why…..why are you smiling in this unknown situation?!”
For a moment, I doubt she really rose to power from rank F.
Is she just good at playing games?
But either way, I know exactly why she’s shocked.
Because right now……I’m smiling.
I’m bearing such a cheerful smile in this miserable situation.
I mean, how couldn’t I bare such a smile in this situation?!
In the end, do you know how many days it has been since I got to heaven?
“And here I thought heaven was a boring place…..!”
If I had known it was this interesting, I wouldn’t have bothered reincarnating!
That’s when my field of view changed.
“You god damn idiot! You’re always stuck in your own little world!! Pay attention to the outside a little, would you?!”
She just hit the back of my head, and from there, my forehead went straight toward the driving wheel.
That of course……led to the steering wheel to go sharply toward the left.
And the car was shaking……..miserably.
“That was dangerous! What the hell are you doing?!”
I said that after looking at the world of destruction that little mishap caused.
Dead, rotting bodies were everywhere. Since in the end, I just went head on with a horde of zombies.
The smell was so bad; it could’ve knocked you out if you were not paying any attention.
Unlike the usual cool appearance, Acil was obviously shaken.
I then took my left hand from the steering wheel and patted her head.
“Don’t worry, I have everything under control”
I said, while revealing a reassuring smile.
I guess in the end, she doesn’t want to lose.
Since….we don’t know what happens when we do.
Or….she might be hiding something from me, about these dead worlds.
But I quickly dismissed the idea, because doubting each other now is only going to bring us discord.
The car is….shaking.
Even though I’ve stopped it for now, the engine is still running.
As soon as I remembered exactly why its shaking, I was mortified.
We were surrounded by zombies.
“Dammit! This is what happens when you’re stuck in your own world for too long!”
Said Acil, trying to shift the blame toward me.
But to her surprise, I only returned a smile.
I could always try to run over all of them, but in the end….the car isn’t going to survive.
But what can I do to survive this?
I can…..use a diversion.
Since zombies can’t see, I needs something that smells and gives out a sound.
I then came up with a very……horrible idea.
“Listen up Acil…..I need you to shut your eyes and ears.”
“Huh? What are you up to?! Drive this weird thing and get us out of here!”
“And that’s what I’m trying to do! Just listen to me for a second, and close your eyes and ears!”
Seeing as she has done as instructed, I proceeded into the next phase of my plan.
“Can you hear me!?”
Seeing no reaction what so ever, I then went on and asked a final question.
“Woah?! What’s that?!”
I looked and pointed to the back of the car.
I then shifted my gaze back toward Acil.
With no reaction at all, I confirmed that she indeed listened to my instructions.
I then proceeded into taking off my socks.
“Damn…..this is truly a horrible idea.”
Alex, have moved toward the trunks of the car via jumping over the back seat took down his pants.
With tears swelling in his eyes, he began thinking for another plan…..but the driver’s side window broke.
And from it, the countless growls of the undead leaked in.
“There is no time to think about it! It’s now or never!!”
He took the sock, and positioned it near his bottom.
Alright, let’s try to escape reality!
Wanna wonder why I called her Acil earlier?!
It’s because her name is long and quite hard to pronounce!
Nicknames are like, good right?!
Now then, I did consider going for pee rather than crap, but the pee is going to ruin the radio I am planning to equip with the smell.
And with that, I’ll have both sound and smell.
Now then, let’s get the radio electro-charged and in the sock.
I then returned my pants to its rightful place and inserted the working radio into the sock.
Acil, who didn’t cover her nose, opened her eyes horrified by the smell.
“Shut up! You’ll understand why in a moment!!”
I quickly got back to my seat, and threw the sock outside the broken window that was full of zombie hands.
At the same time that Alex cried in regret about his useless, disgusting plan, Acil tried to hit him, but retracted her hand as soon as she remembered what he had just done.
The zombies, showing no signs of backing off, began shaking the car even harder.
“Err…..did I just piss them off……?”
“YOU THINK?! You fucking pervert!”
At the same time Acil said that, a spark hit the car from god knows where and the engine roared, as if urging me to press the pedal.
As soon as I finished saying that, I stomped on the gas pedal as hard as I can and somehow ran over the hordes and hordes of zombies in front of us.
The hands that were extended inside the car from the windows got severed and either entered the car or got knocked outside.
“Phew….that somehow saved as….but what was that?”
Since normally, with the power of the of the SUV, it’s impossible to run over all the zombies in front of us, or any of the surrounding ones to begin with.
But the car suddenly had a boost in power, which was the only thing I could thank god for.
“It looks…..like some of my power leaked out.”
Said Acil while showing a bitter expression, biting her lower lip harder, until blood began dripping.
“Wait…if you have powers, then why didn’t you use them to start with?!”
In the end, I’m angry.
Since if she used her ‘power’ from the start, we wouldn’t have to use my last-resort plan.
But then, I remembered Acil denying the fact that she even had them at the start.
Which made me even more enraged.
“That’s because…..there is no spiritual power here. So unlike you, who can survive without them….I can’t. Since I’m a god and all. So I have to save up all I can while I’m here….”
As soon as she said that, the rage building up in Alex subdue as if it never existed to begin with.
Because, he understood how important spiritual power is.
If you go by a game reference, then spiritual power is MP.
The reason I had to give up on my right hand earlier was because there is no spiritual power in this world and had to use the actual electrons within it.
“I see….in that case, I apologize. Just try not to get agitated from now on.”
“I think that’s impossible with you around.”
“But wait…if that’s the case, doesn’t that mean that you’ll die as soon as you run out?”
Acil cast her eyes downward.
And with that, it confirms my suspicion
Although this world is interesting, we need to get out as fast as possible.
And thus, the road trip in this dead world begins.