Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! -Chapter 6

Author- Light

Light: Alright people, since i won’t be having any internet access tomorrow This is because i can’t concentrate on studying for monday’s final with the internet’s here. *Let’s all face it, its either an A or the internet.* I’ll be releasing tomorrow’s chapter now! I’ll also be doing a poll at the end of the chapter, so make sure to do that as well~It’s all fun and games, so you can be honest!

OH RIGHT! GUYS, THIS IS NOT A TRANSLATION! THIS IS AN ORIGINAL, ENGLISH STORY WRITTEN BY ME, LIGHT!

In The End, The Tuxedo is Uncomfortable!

“Woah~ that was awesome! i never seen a car explode!! i wish i had worked as a spy before i died……”

Alex said that while taking out his S&W pistol and pointing it at the petite girl, that’s walking away from the burned down car.
The fire, which the black haired girl just walked out off, was moving around, as if bended by her will.
That, of course, was just an illusion.
Although…..Alex didn’t seem to agree.

He made a motion as if wearing some sun glasses and said “Freeze. you’re under Arrest for being too smoking Compared to your…..structure.”

Although he was a bit disappointed that there wasn’t a “Yeaaaah!” going on the background, or did he have any sun glasses.

“Woah?! What’s with those eyes, Acil?! Stop pitying me!!”

Of course, it was only met by Acil’s dead eyes.

“N, n, no…..”

Alex lets go of the gun, and it falls to the ground with a ~Clang!
He then crouches and covers his face with both of his hands.
He then mutters “i want to die…” and “i want to disappear…”
It seems there are only two variations.

“Leaving that thing aside.” Acil said while narrowing her eyes as if looking at garbage.

She then turns toward the petite girl, who has an expression that can only be deemed as the expression of death.

“What does the honor, Thanatus?”

Spouted Acil, out of courtesy and by no means respect.
In the end, she is talking with a purebred God.
She was born to be a god, unlike Acil, who became one out of hundreds of years’ worth of effort and talent.
The girl then takes a deep breath and says “That kid…..he ruined my cool entrance! But This one is going look over it for now. Since in the end…..he did spill your doom, Acidalia.”
Although Acil said that with almost total calmness, her body simply didn’t agree with her mouth…

“Ow, ow, OUCH!!! S-stop it! B-boghou!?”

She proceeded into kicking the crouched Alex.
She began with grabbing his ear, and then pulling on it. She then took few steps while still grabbing his ear, and jumped. She delivered a magnificent double kick straight to the stomach.

“T-that h-hur—–!”

Before the recovered Alex could continue, she grabbed his hair in an instant and smashed her right knee straight into his face.

“Oww, This one can almost hear his teeth cracking up…..that must have hurt.”

Acil then came close to the beaten down Alex and whispered “Even though she looks like that, she’s actually a few thousand years old..”
And then looked back toward the still pissed off Goddess of Death.

“And….isn’t your plan to kick me out of heaven? So, are you going to let me rot here? Or maybe lower my rank by this ‘unknown’ of yours?”

Alex, who just recovered, only heard the word ‘Unknown’.

“Unknown?”

He asked.

“It means a game that the wager and rules have yet to be disclosed. And yet, we’re participating in it.”

Said Acil while closing one of her eyes in exhaustion.
She then moved toward Thanatus, who was a few steps away. She only stopped once she was close enough for Thanatus to be forced to look upward in order to face Acil.
They both stroked an imposing pose, where Thanatus crossed her arms and glared at Acil, who had one hand on her hip.
With them both glaring at each other, a tense atmosphere was created.
And yet….there was a third person at the site, who couldn’t feel it at all.

“Ehehehe~”

He was giggling.
Perhaps he was enchanted by the two beauties.
Let us not forget, Alex has more than 50 years’ worth of experience in being a virgin.
His imagination could be a bit….wild.
His motto in his second life was as follows.

‘AS LONG AS IT HAS A HOLE, ITS HOLY! -No homo.’

Because of his aggressive, perverted nature, he was very hated by the opposite sex in his second life.
This, of course, meant he was a pedophile.
Or rather, a lolicon.
But then again, he, himself, denies it.
But….if someone dressed as erotic as the goddess of death were to appear, then even he would admit defeat.
They both wanted to crush him, but that action itself would ruin their serious mood.
So they both agreed internally to deny his existence.

“W, well then. Although I wanted you both to die in this world, it seems that I can’t. There is still someone who seeks this Fake goddess…..so, I’m going to have to strip you out of your duties.”

Acil bit her lower lip out of frustration; tsk! So she wants to turn me to G so they can lust over my body…….! Damn rotting gods! But then again…..this saves us. This way, we still have a way to win.
But then, the little girl revealed a rotten smile, that went contrary to her physical age.

“Now then, I’m going to have you both pl—”

-Bang!

The goddess was shot at yet again, this time, in the middle of her flat chest. Although there was a bullet hole, blood did not gush out.
She then turned toward Alex, who just shot her with a smile on his face and shouted.

“WOULD YOU FUCKING STOP THAT?!”

With a disappointed look, Alex threw the pistol he just picked up.
The young girl, who had veins popping out one after the other, was surprised even herself.
Since in the end, blood didn’t flow in her body.
Yet…..there were veins all over her little, not-so-innocent face.

“That rotten smile doesn’t suit you, my little angel.”

And……

~Bang!

He shot yet again.

“Accept my bullet of love!”

Instead of the typical hand gesture that is done after saying a pick up line, he actually picked the gun he lowered a few seconds ago and shot again.

“Ahh……fuck this. Fuck this game. Fuck this world. Fuck that guy’s request. Fuck this fake. AND FUCK YOU!”

As soon as she said that, she stomped her feet in the ground, and a scythe appeared.
It was a jet black, two meter tall scythe.
It didn’t suit the petite body of the Goddess of Death.
Black wings sprouted from the gaps of her erotic outfit, and she began to levitate from the ground.

“Just….fucking die.”

Even though she looked like a petite girl, the presence she gave was that worthy of being called the Grim Reaper.
Acil broke in a cold sweat, thinking about that idiot’s waste of their chances of victory.
Since in the end, Acil couldn’t use her godly powers without using her life force.
In the end, her power was her own lifeline.
Their death in this world meant going to the void.
No more reincarnation, no more heaven, and no more second chances.
She wanted to look at the face of the man who caused all of this mess, but she couldn’t….since the Goddess of Death blocked her view.
As for Alex….he just fearlessly smiled in the face of ultimate death.


I’m going to ask you a stupid question.
Have you ever felt like throwing up, just by remembering the past?
Some of you perhaps did.
Embarrassment, depression and regret.
I have never truly felt such emotions.
At least not to the point where I want to throw up or….kill myself.

“I’m proud to say this, I have never felt regret even once in my life……!”

“Well, you better start now! I have no idea how we managed to escape, but you just crushed every last chance we had in winning! I knew idiocy, but not to this level!!”

Idiocy huh….
Well, that itself can be a compliment.
You know what they say, idiots don’t catch colds!

“Before you get anything up your head, that was not a compliment.”

“Too late!”

Well, leaving this stupid conversation aside, it truly is a miracle for us to have ran away from her.
No, I think it’s more like she let us run away.
With the SUV up in flames, we had to run by foot until we reached out of the base, where we found another car.
Although this one is considerably…..smaller.

Also, this tuxedo is hard to move in.
I wonder why all spies wear ‘em…..
Either way, this car is seriously bad.
It’s like one-third of the SUV’s size.
And its speed is nothing special.
Ahh……!
Dammit, the zombies are also getting smarter and more persistent.
Is this the effect of Thanatus’s anger?
Probably.
Ohh…..I know exactly what to do now!

“W-woah?! What’re you doing?! why are we going back?!?!”

Ohohoho, she’s surprised just as I have guessed!
Well, I’ll be surprised if she wasn’t.
I mean, I’m returning us to certain doom that we somehow got out of with our enemy’s mercy.
But don’t worry, my sweetheart!
I’ll protect you.
With that being said, we soon got passed the gate.

Ohh?
It seems she’s still here!
Great, great.
I press harder on the gas pedal.
The engine roared with all its might!
The car’s frame began to vibrate, as if worried about the future.

“No can do…”

As soon as I said that, Acil realized what I was going to do.
She began to shriek in horror, while I kicked the front window.

~Shatter

With the front window down, I put even more pressure on the pedal.
At the same time, I took out the fully loaded pistol.
I came in contact with the petite body, but rather than the body flying away, it flew toward the window I just shattered.
The girl glared daggers toward me, while I pointed the gun’s muzzle straight to her head.
I then smiled and said “will you let us out of here?”

With no answer, I quickly put all of my strength into the trigger.
I released, lowered the hammer and pulled yet again.
I repeated this process until no more bullets were left in the cylinder.
5 bullets, straight toward her brains in point blank.
Human rights?
There’s no such thing.
She is not human.
Child abuse?
This kid is over a thousand years old.

Before the girl even had the chance to recover, I quickly signal Acil to make sure she’s wearing her seat belts.
As soon as I made sure, I quickly kick it up a notch and speed up even more.
Soon enough, I smashed the car straight toward a wall.
If not for a seat belt, I would have flown straight out of the broken window.
Acil is too frightened to even scream in terror.
If she were to be in her mortal body, then for sure, she would’ve peed herself at this moment.

“Hehehe~”

Just thinking about it, droll began to leak.
I quickly clean it off, remembering the task at hand.
An immortal goddess that is death itself?
I’m not afraid of such petty things.
If it’s immobile, then even I can work my way through.
I quickly reload the pistol and get out of the car.
The car itself is in one hell of a condition, the front was mashed up until the engine.
If the engine wasn’t as sturdy as it was, then both me and Acil would have been in danger.
But as long as nothing really happened, then it’s fine.

“As for the body of our cute goddess……it’s mashed beyond recognition! This would buy me a bit time~”

With that thought, I quickly ran to the armory.
I already memorized the location of the weapons I need, so it didn’t take much time to actually buckle up.
I took the stuff I earlier took, some ammunition and a shotgun rather than the M16.
Of course, I already have the main actor loaded.
I quickly signal the dead weight to move out of the car as fast as possible.
Checking that she still hasn’t fully regenerated, and after making sure that Acil was at a safe distance, I pulled the trigger.

-KABOOOOM!

The car blew up.
I’m not really that cruel or anything…..it’s just that I’d rather kill than be killed.
And this guy is immortal…
So I’d harass her enough until she gives up and let us get away.
That being said, this place was soon filled with the smell of burned flesh.
Acil is still shaking in fright and terror.

“In the end, she is a strategist, and not a soldier.”

She is a person who got dulled by peace, without having gotten used to the smell of blood.

“Ohh? You’re back.”

I quickly looked upon that which resurrected from the-no longer here- pile of burned flesh.
Before giving her the chance to talk, I quickly aimed my shotgun and shot.

–Ba-bang!

Half of her face was blown away, and she fell to the ground yet again.
I got near her, and looked at her bloodless half opened skull.
Her brains blown away, I aimed for the middle of her chest.

—Ba-bang!

With a hole in both her skull and chest, I quickly reloaded the shotgun.
No, no, believe me.
I am in no way blowing out my frustration and disappointment at how wearing a tuxedo is annoying.
No way at all!
It’s just that, I’m hungry and tired….
I want to return home already, and get back to my old body.
I guess even Acil feels the same.
Since back in heaven, it’s always about gambling and games.
There is no need to actually risk our lives.
And in there, we’re immortals as well!
With that being said, i quickly looked at the goddess who is having both fatal wounds regenerating.

It’s like piecing out lego parts.
It really is a mystery…
Either way, i point the shot gun at her face yet again, ready to shoot as soon as she says anything indicating her will to not let us get back home.
But then again, i am a bit worried…
I mean, she’s immortal…
She can play this forever!
At least until Acil runs out of gas and dies.
Well, being immortal doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
While having such thoughts, i reloaded the shotgun.
As soon as recovers, she then goes “F-fine! i–i’ll let yo-”

-Ba-bang!

Not good enough.
I mean, look at the poor Acil!
Look at how she’s trembling!!

*well, it’s mostly my fault though*

I must take her revenge as well!
Letting us go with nothing at all isn’t good enough.
And I think my guess was quite on the spot, she does feel pain.
With that, I gave myself a thumbs up.
……In my heart at least.
She soon recovers.

“Y-you ca–”

–Ba-bang!

This, of course, continued for several hours, until I was out of ammo.
Even if she submitted, I must take Acil’s revenge!
Well, a few hours of the same torture led her responses to a huge dramatic change in them.
I mean…..
Here, listen for yourself.

“Please excuse this one’s rude request, but please allow this one to guide Master out of this shithole!”

Machine Translating to give a bit back to the community.
If you want to help support/encourage me, you can add me on Patreon.
Is Heaven Supposed To be Like This?! -Chapter 5
Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! --Chapter 7
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14 Comments on "Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! -Chapter 6"

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paulflorisnn
Guest

a poll at the 6th chapter
sure i like it, if not why i am reading the 6th?
a lot of them more?

Light
Member

Ehh~ Well, just got interested XD
And since i’m new to wordpress, just felt like using all what it can offer while i still have the chance!

The Decameron
Guest

There needs to be a “Disgusting and Disturbing! It’s Great!” choice….

Light
Member

Oh, nice idea! i’m adding it now~

Light
Member

Never mind, it aint workin’
damn, if only i had the idea before posting the poll…….!

Djajapena
Guest

Second to you!

minihanky
Guest

It really is awesome, I enjoy this humor the most :3

I hope you gonna write more chapters and also a “real” storyline. I mean, it’s just now for him being in heaven and suddenly in this kind of game but nothing so far storywise…-> is he going on a journey with Acil? Does he want to rank up to a god (SSS?) himself and what do he needs to do to accomplish that? This kind of questions are coming to mind.

Light
Member

Well, thats the plan! the original version went on without a plot set in place, without any character development either….But the zombie arc was by far too golden to get rid of, so i posted it. and that concludes with this chapter! So from now on, i’ll be writing from scratch……with a set goal in mind of course. Maybe. Hopefully. i can’t promise anything yet…..XD

tonyrexton
Guest

this zombie ark or rather brutalizing a loli part is golden too bad she doesn’t gush out any blood

minihanky
Guest

Well then i’m looking forward to it 😀

tonyrexton
Guest

well it’s getting better see all you had to do is less poop jokes and more and excuse my french SKULL RAPING LOLIS

KiraKiller
Guest

Reblogged this on Archivity.

MEGA SPARTA CHICKEN
Guest

I never even read the series (here at least)…..I’m here for the poll.

Djajapena
Guest

OH yeah. . . Loli gore… (although I can only enjoy mild gore and in black and white or texts). I didn’t mind if you put some poopy joke… just keep it minimum.

wpDiscuz