Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! –Chapter 18

Author –Light

Well…..ahh, that was bloody?

The first 500 words is a joke of mine, a sort of way to motivate me to write the chapter! I usually delete those, but decided otherwise this time around….Since i don’t know how to make you skip around it….well, just read it~


Hello~!
Good morning~!!
Well, I was thinking of doing something like a recaa~aap~!
…………Is that even possible in a web-novel?

“……..”

A-ahem, well then!

“Today’s weather is fine, right~?”

I mean, it’s sunny, the girls are out, Acil is barely has her private parts covered using bandages, Than is on the floor, too excited to stand up after being ‘punished’, or rather, reward by me using the toy she gave me…..and, well, I killed an angel!
Now for all of you thinking ‘Woah, You killed an angel!?’

Yes, yes I did.
In heaven nonetheless.

‘W-won’t you be sent to hell…..?’

I wish!
This is all for the sake of me going to hell after all~
Hehe, it seems like Than has something of a status in hell….and she promised me lots of girls~!!!
And for that, I need to get to at least S rank~
Ahh, if you forgot….I’m C at the moment…….

‘………are you serious? Are we really doing a recap chapter….?’

No.
No we are not!
The author would give up on the series if he did something as boring as that!
You don’t know anything about the author, but the other day……….He dropped a game because he forgot to save his progress of thirty minutes!

[A/N: Psshh! Stop it, don’t go telling people my life story!!]

Either way, I had to do many things in order to set my plan into motion!
But that all happened after I discovered a grocery store that’s run by an old woman, which turned out only to be a front for Hermes’s prostitution side-business!
So I had one of my girls infiltrate that place in order to get me some information out of there, but that’s a story for later~

‘So, what are you doing now….?’

Oh, I’m here…..practically carrying baggage over my filth–oh, never mind.
I cannot talk bad things about our damsel in distress….this is a big no-no for authors!
Err, what’s left…
Acil is over my back throwing up……Than is on the floor in extreme excitement…..
…….Oh yes, yes!
I got my hands on a sword!
Not that I need one. B-but it’s an awesome looking sword!!
It’s big, it’s black, and it’s shiny!

“………………Oh my god………………” *Removes nonexistence sunglasses in a slow, but dramatic way*

You perverts!
God dammit, remind me to have Acil say a line like that later on!
Either way, it’s the most mythical sword you can think of.
Not in a good way though.
It’s a demonic sword…probably.
It has the ability to kill souls!

‘Gosh, it’s sending them to the void, Not killing them.’

God dammit, I hate those who go on correcting people, y’know?!

‘This is getting desperate.’

I know!
Now then, what am I doing right now…..?

“Oh right, I’m in denial!”

‘Denial’?

“Yes!”

‘Why so?’

“I’m having a conversation with myself. Don’t you think that’s crazy behavior as is?”

‘Indeed….’

“Either way, killing all these guys….might be pushing it a little…..”

I can’t protect Acil this way after all!

“Wait a second……”

I’m an idiot.
I really am.
Didn’t I say earlier that I was going to use Than’s angels?

“Oi, Than!”

“Y-y-y-y-yes Master!?”

Oi, were you about to lick the handle of that whip!?
You’re in heat you little bastard!?!?!?
I beg of you, look around!

“Dammit, I’ll be lecturing you as soon as we get back home! Now then, go call a few of your angels!”

With a clap of Than’s hands, a few dozens of white robed, white winged handsome men with irritated smiles appeared.

“M-mathtah~whath dho you wanth them tho dho?” (M-master~ What do you want them to do?) [A/N: dunno how to do footnotes XD]

“You’re going to suck on it right now!? In front of me!? Are you fucking kidding me!? I’m getting shot with arrows while nimbly avoiding the spears behind me in order to not go through me and straight at Acil! And all you’re doing is fucking sucking on that whip’s handle!?”

Dammit, we’re not that kind of series!

‘Muddy fights, boobies, bikini, more boobies, bandages, rape’

Oh my god, we might actually be that kind of series!

“God dammit, you can suck on it all you want! But you better order those fuckers to protect Acil with their bodies, alright?!”

“No!”

“Gross!”

God dammit, I can’t believe you actually spit that thing at me!
No matter how much you hate Acil, that doesn’t give you enough of a a reason to spit that whip on me!

“Than! Just think of it as if you’re ordering them to pro—Aww! Aww!!! Shit, that one got in my fucking eye!! Hey you!”

I took out the arrow that went straight inside my eye socket, and threw it on the ground.
I quickly pointed at a flying, macho archer in that generic black suit.
Phew, thank god I got rid of that tuxedo…..
The guy on the tuxedo pointed at himself, and I simply nodded in anger.

“Who was it that shot the arrow!?”

I must be angry!
Arrrr!!
O-oww….I-I bit my tongue by accident….
You all will pay for this humiliation!

“So who the hell is it!?”

“I-I don’t know!”

“Is that fucking so!?”

Alright! Just say so then! Don’t fucking yell at me, you maniac!
For that, you deserve a little punishment!

“Hmph…….!”

I adjusted the grip of my sword, inserted a little magic in order to trick a few flies to touch it, and threw it in an arc that went for the nervous, macho archer guy I spoke to a few seconds ago.
Of course, the guy couldn’t even utter a sound; since he didn’t see the thing fly his way at all.
The least I can do is…..give him a peaceful, painless death.
The bow disappeared with a flicker of light, and the flying macho man #1 fell down to the earth and turned to dust–or rather, ash.
The sword was stuck in the middle of that pile of ash.

“Now then, Than. I don’t care about what you think, just let the guys protect my back with their own bodies, Alright? It’s not like they can die.”

“Eh. But master, they can kill them with us…….?”

“ ‘Us’? Oh, I’m so sorry, Than….but this shit just got serious. Those fuckers hurt my eye! My eye!! And Look, didn’t they make Acil throw up!? They made her totally throw up by intimidating her with their massive numbers! I promised this poor thing a good ride on onii-chan’s body! And I’d better deliver my promise! So be a good girl and go masturbate with that whip in the corner over there. Better yet, go to Hermes’s office, tie her up and show her one of your so called ‘sadistic’ plays that I heard Acil mutter to me behind your back!”

“…………….”

Oh god, her eyes began to emit such a hollow light….!
Do you hate parting with me that much!?
Is it that, she’s jealous of Acil!?
Hehe, since when was I this popular with the ladies~
Well, I won’t deny my advances at ‘em~

“Dammit. It can’t be helped….here, I’ll give you something to cheer you up. But promise me, you’ll go play after that….alright?”

“U-un, master…..”

Alright, I bet they started wanted to carve my sword by now….
I took a look toward the pile of ash, and there they are.
A few macho guys were trying to slowly get their hands on my sword.
Yes, MY sword.

“Listen up Than. I want you to run as fast as you can to the sword as fast as you can, but only after one of them touches it.”

Of course, I muttered that so only Than could hear it.
Oh, and Acil.
She turned her head slowly to face the scene, but I gently returned her face to look backwards.
The front is going to turn a bit too gore for her tiny brain to analyze~
Now then, I’ll let the angels handle the back up until I can finish up with the front, while Than will go play with Hermes.

‘You’re way overpowered, compared to earlier incidents!’

Well yeah, I can’t see how I can solve this in a fun, yet creative way.
I’m not smart.
Acil is though.
But her shit will probably take a lot of time and effort to execute.
Now that isn’t fun.
So for now, I’m fine with being overpowered.
Oh my god, doesn’t that sound like I raised my final boss flag?
Oh shit, I can totally see Hermes kicking Than’s ass and getting here in order to kick mine now….

Alright!
Macho man #2 touched the sword, while #3, #7, #9 and #21 were a few microseconds late.
A dozen of ‘em were pretty close to the sword, but I kinda adjusted my magic to take them all out at the same time.
So whether those 4 were near the macho guy who touched the sword, or were of the dozen who were close….of if they were simply those who did not move away, and were still flying—-they’ll all get caught in this magic of mine.
Practically soundless, macho man #2’s body began to quickly swell up like a balloon.
And really, without uttering a single sound…..His body swelled up from the ground to the roof.
I haven’t measured to you the distance between the ground to the roof yet…have I?
Although it appeared to be quite high from outside the building, it was even higher inside!
Just remember, there are a few hundred macho men on the ground AND flying!
Not to mention, there are a few dozens of angels above those!
Well, it’s about 200 meter.
It could be higher though.
It’s a guess alright!
Just keep in mind, the distance is huge.
Seeing a man swell this much is a bit of a stretch….but, I’ll get to explaining that in a bit.
Let’s enjoy the show first.

“Alright, Off you go you little sucker!”

I pushed Than’s back lightly, and then used that same hand to cover grab Acil’s head and slowly massage it.
This is a way to relax her and make sure she doesn’t see this horrifying transformation of macho man #2.
She’ll fear me even more if she saw this!
And….hehe, her nipples are hitting me~ such a nice feeling!
Oh, you want me to explain how the guy’s body looks like?
Ahh, he’s naked.
That’s all I’m going into.
Anyhow, the guy began to open and close his mouth in small gasps, exactly like a frog.
Of course, he wasn’t able to utter a single sound.
Although…..the macho guy right next to him began to scream for his life!
And just like that, exactly like a chain effect, all the macho guys began to shout, scream, pee their pants and so on.
I was still stroking Acil’s head ever so gently.

“……………….! Here it comes, Than! Get out your wings!!”

Than spread her long black wings, even though they weren’t there a few moments ago.
She spread them wide and far, as if to match the size of the macho man’s swelling size.
And then……..a loud BANG! was heard from the macho man.
But of course, he was no more.
The man transformed into nothing but blood and blasted flesh.
Than was in the middle of all that, soaking with blood.
Her black wings were dyed crimson, and her body was covered with flesh.
It looked like a surreal, horror painting of a small, fallen angel covered in the blood and flesh of it’s mother.
Which is a god.
The mother is god!
Well, that’s my shot at being that guy who compares everything to paintings!

All the guys near ‘em began to swell as well, and Than took a pose! She knelt on one foot while taking a praying stance……Hehe, she can read my thoughts!
This could be quite hot for gore fans~
Well, all those around her began to swell as well, but faster!
And they explode yet again!
And everyone who was touched by their blood or flesh began to swell as well!
And they swelled even faster!!
Soon enough, the whole place was covered with nothing but blood and flesh!
The only guys who made it out of there are the macho guys behind me, a few angles, Than and Acil.
Of course, I’m safe as well.
The angels are screaming for their lives, the macho are probably either trying to make a run for it but can’t due to their vast numbers, or too scared to even make a move.
I am still, gently stroking Acil’s head.
Oh, but she is clenching her legs a tad too strongly.

‘What the hell just happened?!’

Well, I infused a bit magic on the sword!
So, whoever touched that would…have my magic enter their body~
That magic is my own, totally different than those of y’all~
So!
My magic does not go well with other people’s for some reason, which I can only guess to be like yin and yan mixing together which means BOOM!
well, my magic can’t be mixed with others because it’ll become unstable, making those guys swell until they explode!
And those bastards have quite the sturdy body, which means they can be stretched for god knows when~!
As expected of angels!

‘Why the hell are those behind you and Than fine then!?’

Because, silly, I gave Than some protection when I gave her that gentle push!
As for those behind us….I took some pity, and well, my magic’s effect kinda lost it’s sharpness at their distance.
Iyaa~ They were out of the area of effect!
Oh, but of course, the guys themselves who exploded began to regenerate ever so slowly.
Like, really slow.
I’m pretty sure I didn’t kill them.
Well, everyone aside from Macho #2
Teehee~
Either way, those guys in front would probably take a few hours to regenerate, and I kinda promised the guys behind to make them feel a bit of pain…..So, yeah.
They’ll feel pain in a very unique way!

Machine Translating to give a bit back to the community.
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Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! --Chapter 17
Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! --Chapter 19
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3 Comments on "Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! –Chapter 18"

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KiraKiller
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Reblogged this on Archivity.

justafan
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These are weird yet very entertaining and well written. GJ

Djajapena
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Thanks for the gore~

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