Author — Light
“I was wondering……How about you give up, and hand over Alex?”
“I refuse, Ballimes!”
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO!?
God dammit, for once, I feel like an Acil!
It’s not that….it’s probably this body!!!
Alright you little bastard, let’s see who’s fucking better!!!!
Why shouldn’t I do that?
They practically just destroyed the house!
That father of mine grabbed a hold of my while I was eating my breakfast (Unfortunately, not infant style…), And made a run for it by going through three roofs!
‘Oh my god, three roofs?!’
I was eating at the kitchen of the two story house, and he just waltzed in, grabbed a hold of me, and flew upward!
And yes, he’s still flying if you’re wondering.
My mum, who was seated next to me, broke into a smile right after staring at us wide eyed…as if she expected this to happen!
She grabbed a hold of her sword, jumped into the hole my dad made, and went up to the sky like a fucking canon!
She wouldn’t even stop, she easily overtook us and kept going!
And we only build this house yesterday!!
Not only that, as soon as she got down……she crashed on the house!!!
The house fucking got destroyed like it was made of lego, stepped by a giant’s foot.
And believe me, I doubt my mother felt the pain of stepping over a lego!
That’s torture in it’s own league my friends.
Now then, if it was up to this point…..it would’ve been, meh, fixable.
But….But…..this sucker father of mine let the whole thing ablaze, while mother was still in it!
If I remember correctly, there was a thing called father’s day back in japan, right?
Let’s make sure we celebrate it today.
My dad is currently holding me like a sack of potatoes in one hand, while another is grabbing a hold of his shiny wooden staff.
He wore a jet black robe with the hood off, and well, he’s flying.
My mum just walked out of the fiery fire like it was nothing.
I can feel it’s heat from over here, dammit!
And we’re like 100 meters up in the fucking sky!!
God, I can totally understand Acil’s pains right now!!!
Is this personality change part of the body deal!?
I remember this happening back in my second reincarnation as well, where I started losing interest in the 3D world!
2D is the best!!
And that brings us back to him being agitated because mother walked off the fire like it’s nothing.
You really just burned the house we just build, no?
And my breakfast that consisted of tree roots…..
Now I can request to be fed directly by mother’s…..ahem.
So be it.
And yes, I can’t speak right at the moment.
I apologize for this body’s slow growth.
Let’s just try a small trick on these suckers.
Oh yeah, I also named this old skill of mine…
It’s ‘Time Break’!
Cool, ain’t it?
It’s this skill which slows time~!
Well, not really, I’m just faster than ‘em.
Alrighty then, let’s finish this quickly~!
Ahh, do I know any flying magic……?
Alright, let’s learn that first then!
I wanna learn teleportation as well, those angel suckers know it….
I-I’m not jealous!
So, I got a grab of ‘father’, and I gently lowered us to the ground via carrying him and jumping off tree branches.
Oh, I didn’t mention it before…
We build our house in the middle of a forest.
Because….well, I supposed they predicted that this would happen rather often, I guess.
After lowering the dude, I punched him twice in the stomach.
I then walked to mother, who has the fiery fire behind her as an awesome background for her intro into the battle scene.
This would make any kamen fan’s blood boil.
So, she’s only wearing a night grown and holding her beloved great sword.
Do you believe it, she wields it with one hand!
But the thing reminds me of Than’s sword, even if this one isn’t as exotic and awesome.
The blade is common white and shiny.
The material in which the sword is made of, I do not know.
What, did you expect me to know everything about the world!?
Let me tell ya, I’m a huge idiot.
Well, that doesn’t matter for now…
I broke my mother’s wrist to make her let go of the sword, and threw it in the middle of that fire.
Let her experience my pain of losing the house!
I then punched her in the stomach twice.
I think I said this before….but I believe in equality between genders.
Then, I moved her toward the tree truck, where I left my dad at.
I then grabbed a vine not too far, and tied ‘em up to the thick tree trunk.
What’s left now…
Oh, I must make sure that father of mine doesn’t have magic power!
…….Also mum, with her physical power…
Alright, let’s take that ancient looking wooden staff…and throw it in the fire as well.
Crap, he might be able to use magic without his staff….
Alright, let’s tie his mouth so he won’t be able to utter incantations.
I doubt there is something like incantation omission in this world.
For powerful spells at least.
Now then, I’ll just be hitting mum’s vital points….and make only her head be able to move for half a day.
Shall we return back time, and wipe those smirks out of their faces?
By the way, as soon as I return back time, I should be vomiting buckets of blood.
This skill is pretty dangerous after all~!
My body back in heaven was a tad bit special, so I don’t have to hold back at all~!!
With a snap with my fingers, my body stopped accelerating…..and time returned.
“H-honey! I-I can’t feel my body!!”
I’m panicking as well.
Why do I feel fine?
Why aren’t I vomiting blood?
This is like, my ultimate last trump card which is a double edged weapon!
And I used it for quite a bit time, so it’s a huge burden on my body!!
I have a reaaallly bad feeling about this.
Well, it might be that elves bodies are…a bit more sturdy than those described in novels and games.
I mean, my mum is a prime example!
Yes, it has to be that.
Alright, let’s try to scare ‘em a bit.
I looked straight at mum, who is only able to stare back at me in surprise.
And I pointed at the fire….which is feeding on our house’s wood in order to wreck havoc in this forest.
Her face paled out rather instantly.
Haha~! Now you know exactly how I feel like, seeing the house with my comfy bed go up in flames!!
I then pointed at my gagged father, who is obviously a masochist based on mother’s tastes, and said “St…ick….”
And pointed back at fire!
He also paled!!
Alright, now that payback is done…
Let’s surprise ‘em for a bit more.
‘Don’t you feel anything toward your parents!? Do you even consider these your parents!?!?!’
If you remember correctly, I, as of now, have had three pairs of parents.
This one being the third of course.
The first pair died before I could even remember their faces, while the second pair had a change of heart…from being kind, to inviting me to commit suicide and kicking me out of the house with no moral or financial support.
So I like my third pair the best.
And them, being the third pair, feel like…I should open up to them.
Is it weird?
It might be.
It might be this body’s own instincts wanting to have some parental love.
It might be my deep down desire to have an overly loving parents, with no secrets between us.
I don’t know.
But either way, I like their looks of despair and surprise….and I believe that in the end, they will forgive me for what I did today.
And for that, I must take this chance…and torment them very well.
Not painfully, but rather, show them my skills.