Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! –Chapter 25

Author — Light


“Mother.”

“I-is that you…A-alex…?”

Keke!
Feast your eyes on my glorious form!

“Oh? It looks like I only have a few seconds left…”

“E-eh?”

Alright, let’s put a gentle smile and quickly reach out to her.
Why am I going near here, right now, as a man, naked, my willy dangling you might be asking?
Because as soon as I return, I won’t be able to use magic or have any kind of power at all.
This is, after all, is supposed to be someone’s last trump card…So not being able to fight for a few days after using it should be fair, no?
Anyhow, If I don’t return mum’s body back to normal -i.e re-hitting her pressure points- she won’t be able to move for the next few days.
Oh, if she can unblock them herself, then My help isn’t needed…but it seems that these guys don’t know much about medicine…so they probably don’t know that pressure points even exist.
Oh well.

“Hmph.”

Alright, if I remember correctly…

“H-hii!?”

It’s left boob, right boob, R2, L2, X and Square.
Now she’ll be able to summon a car! [A/N: in case no one got it, it’s GTA San Andreas joke…Look, it’s after midnight and I’m tired. Let me have a bad joke for once.]

“What are you ashamed of? You’ve been feeding me from these for a few years, no? And not only that…those lonely nights…”

That red blush!
That’s what I’ve been going for!!

“Alright, do–”

Slap!

Ouch!
The mere sound makes it seem like it hurt more than it actually did!!

“……….The first thing you do is hitting me?”

Even though I just released her from her misery *Sniff*
But still, her blood shot eyes, tears running down her cheek, her flushed red expression…and the slap…
……Oh shit, doesn’t this look like I was about to rape her….?
No, no, no! I’m totally not into incest!

“It looks like I have a talent for making girls’ lives utter hell, eh?”

Hehe, biting your lower lip in pain and not knowing what to say…so cuutee~
It kinda reminds me of Acil~!
I totally miss Acil…
Ahh~

“A detestable human…!”

“Oh? Isn’t that something rather…hehe, aren’t ya totally going back on your words from earlier? The whole ‘You aren’t allowed to die before killing us!’ Part?”

With a smile, My body began to glow.

“Looks like my time is up~”

But it’s totally understandable~
I bet she totally didn’t believe me when I told her I’m human earlier…
Oh well.
Taking another bet, it seems that dragon can talk telepathically with dad.
So, and this is just a guess, my dad erected that barrier not to protect the both of them…but rather to block mum’s view while paying attention to the outside via the dragon’s commentary.
So her tears were probably the tears that my her own husband was going to kill her freakish child.
It looks like I acted a bit too soon, no?
I probably should’ve spoken moments before I killed myself and gave them a normal child, no?
I just thought…well, since I’m going to die soon, the earlier I told them, the better. That way, they can spend their time with me without regretting anything.

“Too bright…..!”

Sheesh, shut up mum, I’m trying to explain something here!
So anyhow, from a logical perspective, if I ever had any children, and for some reason my one year old child came up to me to tell me he was an elf of massive age, and that he reduced angels to dust with a swing of his sword, and he even tamed the goddess of death…only to be resurrected by his enemies…then that kid doesn’t have a massive imagination, he’s plain crazy.
But what if he had the skill to back it up?
Then…this child is not your own, and simply a cause of heaven’s punishing these poor parents of mine.
They were unfortunate enough to birth me, who his mind(soul), is a bit special.
Special enough to be able to contain all of the memories of two -three if we count the one in heaven- lives.

“Hrm~”

I quickly stretched this small body of mine, and then began counting how many hands I have.

“One…two…three!? I’m just kidding, only got two~”

Hehe, returning from an immortal body brought back my left arm~
Now then, since I’m naked…

「Hehe…haha…hahahaha~! Look at this! I don’t one! I don’t have the pride of men, the only thing that can solve the conflicts between fellow guys and the source of power and faith to every male! I don’t have it~!」

“…………A-alex……..? B-but how…….? Y-you were just..a human….?”

“……………?”

「Wait a second…can it be, that you haven’t realized that the human earlier touching you…was me? Haha! Now that’ll explain why you called me a detestable human.」

But then again, looking at this woman…
She’s…y’know, That
She has one massive bust…
I-it looks like my future m-might be fruitful.

「Eh~ What’s with that expression filled with shock? What you just saw was my true body!」

“……”

Talk about awkward, no?
I guess, the part where the barrier blocked her view was true…then she didn’t see me transform which eventually means that her child was killed by a dragon, and the dragon was killed by this weird super strong human and hit her husband.
Wow.
This fucker of a writer should write from mum’s perspective rather than myself…
Alright, let’s zoom out and change the perspective~!


“Uirdaer! What are you doing!?”

“What do you think I’m doing? She destroyed my fallen village’s last heritage!”

“But……!”

Argh! If only I could move…I could easily beat the dragon! The only problem is that Alex destroyed Uirdaer’s staff…It was the only thing that survived from the tragedy that befell his village! Just a little boy and his village’s treasure!

“Listen to me, Uirdaer! You’re in a state of utter rage and grief…just give it a bit, clear your mind and think carefully! Which one is more important, your lost family’s heritage or our own!?”

The pale man’s emerald eyes narrowed as he extended his hands to supply more energy to the barrier, and only after he was confident in it’s strength did he lower his concentration to pay attention to his surroundings…Alas, he did not hear the woman’s pleads.
Surprisingly enough, even with the pale man’s effort to intensify the fire (which succeeded), no actual heat could be felt within the dome which consistent of nothing but fire. Even the grass on the ground didn’t burn, or even turn black from the heat alone. This special spell did, however, transmit heat…to the outside world. Anyone trying to enter would be burned. Even getting near it would normally burn the hairs on your body!

“Are you fine……!? You already lost an important piece of your heart…are you willing to destroy the other!?”

Uirdaer, the green haired man’s eyes bore a faint light of madness as he exclaimed “Haha! You shouldn’t worry, honey. Alex won’t die! Didn’t he say it herself? Or is it himself? Either way, did it not claim to have fought against gods!?”

The young lady’s pretty face instantly turned ugly, and could not help but show a hint of pity toward the man of her dreams in front of her.

“Even if Alex said all of that…would you truly believe her? Can it not be just a child’s play? Wanting to be special to her parents? Isn’t that what every child does!?”

The young man took a deep breath, as if to calm himself, and then continued “If that’s the case, then how do you explain what happened to the both of us? What about the telepathy part? I’ve never even heard of anyone being able to communicate telepathically without setting up a spiritual connection!”

For those who do not know, a spiritual connection is what happened between two magical creations, one being the master while the other being the servant.
There are some cases where if the being is ancient, such as dragons or elves who lived far more than a few millenniums being able to use telepathy…but those people can be counted with one hand.
For example, the red scaled dragon that Uirdaer has summoned isn’t ancient at all, he is in fact just around the corner for half a millennium. And yet, he can speak telepathically with Uirdaer; That’s proof enough of their relationship as a master-servant.
To put it simply, the master-servant can replicate telepathy just between the two of them. However, the ancient beings are able to utilize telepathy with anyone without the need of any relationship with the receiving side at all.
But of course, to a warrior such as Ballimes, she didn’t understand just what Alex’s ability to telepathy signified.

“Hehehaha! I think everything that our child has said is true, Ballimes! His ability has said so after all. You probably think he’s getting butchered or at least running for his life from Warloth(The dragon’s name), right? Well, to your surprise, he’s able to shield herself from Warloth’s direct fire breath head on! And he’s in the middle of the air nonetheless! Can you do that without your shield, Ballimes? Don’t you get it!? Our child is not normal…hehe….haha…hahaha!”

Ballimes didn’t dare to believe it.
After all, even she could hardly take on a dragon’s breath head on with the help of her precious shield.
Even the walls that are hundred of meters tall and thick, made from mithril or any other exotic ore could not withstand a dragon’s breath head on and would instantly melt.
It’s a dragon!
The most ancient and powerful tribe!!
If they aren’t at least that powerful, they aren’t even worthy of being on the top of the pyramid of power!!!

“You…..you actually used a dragon’s breath against your own child…..!? Isn’t Alex just one years old!? Alex can’t even speak that well yet, nevertheless fight a dragon!”

“Hmph.”

Ballimess began to break in cold sweat as she realized what her husband, the man before her, is thinking.

“C-can it be…that you want Alex…to take revenge instead of you…?”

But then again, if that was the case…why have Alex go through this?

“Didn’t we agree to leave it be? Even though we traveled together to search for clues for at least seven centuries…didn’t you promise me that you’ll give up when we stopped moving around? Didn’t you promise me that you’ll let it go, at least until Alex grows up in this little home of ours?”

Even though they themselves destroyed their house by their own hands, A mage can easily build another house like that.
To begin with, Uirdaer built the house in nothing but fifteen minutes.
If he did it once…why couldn’t he do it a second time?

「Attention please, you little bastards. I’ll be giving you guys thirty seconds to surrender. Either the dragon walks away or father desummons him. If not, then I’ll chop the dragon to pieces~」

“…….!”

“There it is! Haha! I told you! Not only have she survived, she even cut Warloth’s tail! And from the way she speaks…she has a few trump cards that she’s about to reveal!”

Of course, at this point, the dragon did not tell Uirdaer that Alex’s left arm has been burned to dust.
Because the dragon himself knows that he screwed up.
But what can he do? The elven child simply incurred it’s wrath for having his tail cut off.
And at this point, neither Ballimes nor Uirdaer continued to talk.
Uirdaer gave up on trying to justify his actions, and simply began to strengthen his barrier.
Who knows what kind of attack Alex is going to fire off?
From what he heard from the dragon, they were currently right behind him.
So…if the dragon were to dodge, then the attack would probably hit their barrier.
Of course, it could all be a bluff…but better careful than sorry.
After around forty seconds, shouts from a rather…weird language was heard.

“…………….? Can this somehow be an incantation in Alex’s world? But from the tone of it…it sounds as if he’s mocking someone…”

Of course, it was all the shouts Alex was yelling at the dragon about being too late for the dragon to beg for mercy and whatnot.
Since…well, Alex returned to his original body, and unlike in Heaven….there isn’t an auto translate in this realm, and out of a force of habit…he spoke in Japanese.
As for Ballimes, she simply began to cry silently.


「Woah, now that explains why you didn’t respond to any sarcastic question I asked…hehe, so you didn’t understand what I was saying? Well, now you know who I am! A human! And…you probably also realized that you can’t overpower me, no?」

Let’s all agree to keeping the cool down a secret for now~!
Mum quickly wiped her remaining tears and stood up.

“o….h…….?”

I unexpectedly talked with my real mouth.
She immediately gave me a fierce hug…to the point where I’m suffocating in her bosom.
Of course, my two tiny hands are helping themselves with another serving of those puddings.

“I’m sorry for slapping you, Alex…A mother should never hit her children.”

「Hehe. You think I, Alex, got hurt with a simple slap?」

“Fufu~! Of course not. My Alex could chop a dragon to four pieces with ease!”

Wooosh~!

Fuck….my neck!

「T-this…could be bad.」

“A-Alex?”

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!
THIS IS BAD!
Or good?
IN EITHER CASE, THIS IS FUCKING BAD!
Ballimes released me from her embrace, and pushed me just a little away while holding my shoulders to get a good look at myself.
And…fuck, the result isn’t exactly what I want her to see.

“B-blood……?”

「Hehe. Listen up! I don’t have much time around here, since it looks like I’ll be returning home earlier than expected! So, my last message is! I’m sorry! And I loved you the most out of all of the mothers I had, okay? Sorry for taking away your child!」

In case you haven’t noticed from the sound effect and the blood…well, I’ve been shot with an arrow.
In my neck.
And she currently has her hands soaked in my blood.
Yay.

“A..a..a..aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

And she lost it.
She quickly let go of me and probably grabbed a hold of her great sword and went to slay whoever shot that thing at me.

Thud.

Well…ahh, now I collapsed onto the ground.
I quickly closed my eyes out of habit, and just lied there.
I can’t feel anything at all, and I stopped breathing.
Oh well, at least I was murdered, right?
Doesn’t that mean I’ll be sent straight to Heaven?
Hehe, I totally forgot that by committing suicide, I’ll be sent straight to hell.
I wonder though, why did they target me?

Is it perhaps out of jealousy from my parents’ fame?
I don’t think they told anyone we planned on staying here for a long time…
Oh! Can it be someone who lives in this forest?
We probably angered ‘em quite a bit by burning the hell out of it.
Either way, this is taking a while.
I mean, I don’t mind the pain…but it kinda feels frustrating that I kinda wasted seven years on nothing.
Usually, I’ll suddenly gain awareness in front of a line waiting to enter the afterlife management office…
Y’know, the place that sends ya either to heaven or hell.
Hrm…doesn’t this mean that I didn’t die yet?
Let’s open our eyes slowly.

“………”

Yup, this is the sky.
I can see the tree’s leaves above me.
This is the place where I tied dad and mum, and also the same place where they created their own little barrier.
Although I can’t feel my hands, I slowly tried to raise my palm above my face.

“………!”

I can move it.
Even though I can’t feel it, I can move it.
Weird.
This is way too weird.
This is my first time…experiencing this.
It’s like I’m commanding an arm that isn’t mine…
Alright, let’s try to get up.
I put both of my palms onto the ground, or so I think ‘cause I can’t feel ‘em, and slowly raised myself up to my feet.
T-this whole body doesn’t seem mine…I can’t feel anything.
It’s like a puppet’s body with my conscious installed within it.

Like, all of my nerve receptions have been turned off for some reason.
It’s as if I lost the sensation of ‘touch’.
As soon as I got up, I began to look around me.
Alright, there’s dad collapsed on the ground…
There’s the dragon meat neatly sliced…
The sword is missing, so perhaps as I guessed…mum went to kill the attacker.
Which also means it hasn’t been that long since I collapsed.
I always wondered what Hermes meant when she said that she’ll grant me a “Deathless death”.
Hehe…for it to turn out like this…
I never expected her to give me the ability to turn into a zombie!

Machine Translating to give a bit back to the community.
If you want to help support/encourage me, you can add me on Patreon.
Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! --Chapter 24
Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! --Chapter 26
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10 Comments on "Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! –Chapter 25"

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Light
Member

I was bored.
Thus, I turned Alex into a…hehe……

Filth
Guest

You’re one sadistic author and I like that.

Light
Member

I get that a lot :3

SigFig
Guest

Does alex grow as a zombie. I would seriously hate baby zombie.

Light
Member

I’d hate a baby zombie as well…We shall see.
It means I have plans to get him to grow up 😀

watingWaiter
Guest

I bet in that world is a nice cure for Zombieism :p

Holy Dragon Emperor [innocent mode]
Guest
Holy Dragon Emperor [innocent mode]

Thanks for the chapter nano desu~

xepicxblack
Guest

Thank for the chapter

KiraKiller
Guest

Reblogged this on Archivity.

Djajapena
Guest

I remember some webtoons where the MC is a zombie. Oh another manga too!

Just some by the way. I didn’t read those.

wpDiscuz