Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! –Chapter 26

Author — Light


This…is awesome.
I’M A ZOMBIE!
Want to know why?
Pretty simple…I’m immortal!
It’s like back in heaven, when I had Than’s sword.
They can’t kill me…but I can kill them!
Isn’t that awesome?
I’m invincible!
But I have to wait for three days before I’m able to use magic!
Dammit…
Oh god…
If I were to go into further detail…then, just like a debuff in game, my MP–Magic Power is going to slowly leak out of my body while not being able to replenish it at all.

This restriction goes off in about three days.
It could be two…it could be three.
Heck, if I’m lucky, it could only be for a few hours!
But the maximum amount of time is still three days.
With my magic power slowly leaking out means that I have to quickly use my magic before…well, it goes *Poof*!
While at the same time, I have to save as much magic as possible for unexpected possibilities.
For example…these guys who ambushed us.
Alrighty then, let’s first wake up the jerk.

Thud!

“…….U..gh…..!”

My mother always used to say, “A kick to the stomach is the cure to stupidity!”
…..Yes, I might have been abused as a child.
I’m just kidding~ my previous mother was pretty kind and loving up until I failed my college entrance exam~
Alright, dad’s eyes began to regain focus…
……Should I waste magic to communicate with him?
I kinda still have around a little bellow half of my magic left after all…
Telepathy doesn’t use that much magic…

“……..Heavens, My stomach! What the hell?!”

Oh right, I kinda also knocked him out by hitting him on the stomach…
Oh well, let us all cross our fingers that I didn’t hit him in the same place as that.
By the way, it’s not like I used magic in that kick, But rather my body’s limitation going off or something.
I heard that a lot in zombie movies, how zombies can break through walls and crush bones with their teeth.
It’s kinda like that.
Super human strength or something.
Well, it’s not good for me to use that full on strength…because it puts pressure on my muscles and bones, leading to them being crushed. That’s logic that you rarely find in zombie stuff.

「Get a grip over yourself, Father! Can’t you see how serious the situation is at the moment!?」

Let’s just act it out.
Make him forget that…ahh, I kinda hurt him a lot?

“A-alex…? Oh…..? ALEX!? WHAT IN THE HOLY SPIRITS OF THE GREAT TREE IS AN ARROW DOING THROUGH YOUR NECK!?”

…….Huh?
….Shit. I totally forgot to remove that…
Pluck~
There we go, removed!
Not even a single drop of blood came out~
I’m just kidding, blood did come out.
It was a mix of red with a hint of green.
Probably, my blood is turning green.
Although, I’m not bleeding at the moment at all.
Also, I kinda lost my sense of pain along side of my sense of touch.

「Better?」

Oi.
What’s that look?
It’s like you’re looking at a monster!
Stop staring you pervert!
Is it that? You’re into your naked daughter or something!?
Oh my god…if this pervert was into gore and incest…then me being naked while having a hole in my neck…isn’t this his perfect play…….!?

「Ew, eww, ewww! Dad, that’s gross!! No matter how much you lust after your own daughter with a huge wound on her neck, there’s a boundary called morality that must not be crossed!!!」

Dad, who quickly came back to his senses, quickly wore a warm smile for an instant before his expression transformed into a grim one.

“This…although…Indeed, I am quite happy that Alex called me ‘dad’ rather than the stiff ‘Father’….this isn’t the time to think about this! Alex, what just happened to you? You’re complexion is as white as a ghost, while your gold eyes are slowly leaning to a redder shade! What the hell am I thinking right now!? This really isn’t the time! I have to quickly heal her!”

Eh.
He’s happy that I called him ‘Dad’?
I was kind of formal while talking to him in person, calling him ‘Father’ while in my thoughts ‘Dad’…
I-it’s embarrassing for a grown ass man to call his dad ‘Dad’ in public!
Wait a second…H-he won’t ask me to call him ‘Daddy’ next…right?
Ehhh, that would make it super creepy…
Dad, I’m like, well over sixty, like, seriously, like, okay?
My dad began to quickly chant some stuff under his breath while pointing at me. Bright light began to slowly collect on the tip of his fingers as he slowly began to finish his incantation.
…..Wait a second, in games…isn’t holy magic the same thing as healing?
And isn’t it like, the most deadly against undead monsters…such as…zombies…?

“『–Holy Aura!』”

Oh fuck, I was too late to interrupt him!
The holy, yellow-ish beam launched from the tip of his fingers, and before I could even react…it struck me!
God dammit, if you’re going to shoot out a beam, call it a fucking ‘beam’ would ya!?

“…A…a…a..a..Ahhhhhhhh…..!”

That’s me trying to shout as the beam that struck me began radiating light from my body.
I continued to shout in pain even though I don’t feel any. Why? If I’m going to die now, I got to at least play my part as a zombie being eradicated by the holy light of a sage!
Although the sage is a necrophiliac pedophile who has something for his baby daughter.
After a few more seconds, the holy light that’s being emitted from my body began to dim until it disappeared.

“This…..”

I looked at my own body in shock.
I’m alive?
Hehe….hehehe….indeed, didn’t Hermes and her master want me out of heaven?
If they went out of their way to even promote a new human goddess to create a special body for me…with the function of a zombie…why would they, obviously, leave me a weakness that could easily kill me?
But dammit…I totally forgot that with this zombie body of mine, dying would be a bit complicated.
Hrm….this…..this might be a little troublesome.

“Although the wound on your neck closed, your skin complexion is still pure white….while your eyes turned scarlet red…”

Red eyes? Pale skin? I don’t care about those, dad!
I can’t commit suicide right now, dammit!
And this small body of mine…
Fucking hell!

「Alright dad, listen well!」

“Huh!? What are you talking about? To begin with, where’s your mother? How can she let you be hit with an arrow!? And how exactly were you alive after that hit!?!?!”

「Just shut up and listen you god damn hypocrite! I’ll be using all of my magic at the moment to try something and fix my body, okay? This will lead me to being unable to communicate with ya for a few days. Or rather, if I succeed, I won’t even need telepathy. But in case I failed, I need to tell ya the current situation!」

“W-what?”

Stop it with the ‘W-what?’ like you’re fucking innocent!
Because of that stupid pet lizard of yours, I lost an arm!!
I almost died dammit!!!
And now you’re shouting ‘How can your mum let you be hit with an arrow!?’ like you care about me?
Good thing I’m a matured man.
If not, then any other normal person would’ve killed you on the spot!

「Mum grabbed her sword and went to look for the guy who shot the arrow. Probably. Either way, she ran up west!」

That’s the only direction where they could have shot my neck like they did after all!
And with that, I began to stimulate all of the magic in my body in order to, well, force my cells to mature, die, and be replaced.
Think of it like a bad version of »Time break«
»Time break« is usually making my whole body speed up, no?
Usually, that would lead up to my body aging in a very fast pace.
But, there’s a little complicated trick behind it to…well, give it an anti aging effect.
What you do is pretty simple, you use two forces of magic.
One’s speeds up the cell’s activity, while the other keeps on regenerating them from fatigue–Giving off an anti-aging effect.
If the second power is used correctly, you’ll be able to be a half-assed immortal.
You can still die…but you won’t from age or an illness.
Of course, that all comes down if you have enough magic power to maintain it.
It’s not something anyone can keep up for a long period.
What I’m about to do is quite the opposite.
I’ll force myself to age!
Of course, it’ll use up all of my remaining magic.
Or not, I honestly don’t know.

‘Why haven’t you used this earlier to instantly grow up?’

Because…ahh, I kinda thought of it just now?
Ideally, using this method with a zombie’s body…would, probably, turn me to ash.
Since a dead body’s cells can’t reproduce…thus, they’ll first rot and in the end line…turn to dust.
Probably.
I’m not a damn biology scientist, alright!?
But, well, this body of mine seems more than what meets the eye…even with the zombie thingy.
So…probably, if I didn’t turn to dust…then my body would grow up.

Machine Translating to give a bit back to the community.
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Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! --Chapter 25
Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! --Chapter 27
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12 Comments on "Is Heaven Supposed To Be Like This?! –Chapter 26"

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iamsleepless
Guest

thanks for the chapter

Yui
Guest

so close to 1st XD
grats sleeps

Light
Member

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD TWO PEOPLE WERE ACTUALLY COMPETING IN ORDER TO BE FIRST IN ONE OF MY CHAPTERS!!!
I can die a happy man right now.

waitingwaiter
Guest

don´t you dare to die on us now!

Yui
Guest

its not like i was waiting for a chapter ok? b-baka

Yui
Guest

ty for the chapter

tonyrexton
Guest

lol 2 bad i asleep at the time well nice chap so… is he a vamp now ?

Tcol521
Guest

Thx for chapter.
Lol. Did Alex even think of what his mom will think when she return to find her husband in front of a naked hot female elf? Another serving of comedy coming soon. xD

Holy Dragon Emperor [innocent mode]
Guest
Holy Dragon Emperor [innocent mode]

Thanks for the chapter nano desu~~

Thelonelydemon
Guest

Thanks for the chapter

KiraKiller
Guest

Reblogged this on Archivity.

Djajapena
Guest

I need another dose!

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