Author — Light
“Phew…Damn, I guess they won’t let me die that easily huh?”
As I said that, I moved my hands to that little chest of mine.
I HAVE BOOBIEEEES!
Heavens, I have boobies!!
This is like, every man’s dream come true!!!
These are genuine boobs! Not man-boobs, but actual boobs!
Oh right, dad is here…
Shit, and here I thought I would taste how a woman would feel…oh well, that could wait for later.
“Hehehe, how do ya like me now? Your daughter has grown up!”
“……….That doesn’t look like an illusion though………”
“Gosh, dad. It’s not like I would waste magic on illusions, alright? Not like I know any to begin with…Gosh, illusions are for pussies!”
I wonder if I could nail a part with my teenage girl act…
“What’s with the confusion~ I just did a little trick with time and made my body grow up a little faster~”
As for my current appearance…well, I aimed for something along the lines of twelve years old….but looking at the size of my boobs, which in all honesty is super soft and puffy! I got to say, I might be around sixteen~eighteen years old.
Oh, just a heads up…I turned my hair silver.
Why you might ask?
A blond immortal is a vampire!
I’d rather you not compare me to a leech!!
I’m a zombie.
My skin is pale, so my hair should be white!
Although…I can’t do anything about my red eyes.
“I-in that case…..!”
I turned my head to face this father of mine–I was looking at my boobs–and….I can see stars in his eyes!
“Since my beloved daughter, Alex, can manipulate time…you can, of course, retrieve my staff….r-right?”
So you’re wondering about that….
Hehehe, no worries!
“I can’t! Who do you take me for, a god? I can’t manipulate time~”
Dad lowered his head in disappointment, and then slowly raised it to face me.
His eyes…were blood shot red from fury.
“I-I-I’m just kidding of course! Of course I can get back that staff of yours, of course I can!”
For fucks sake, this man turns into a maniac every time the subject moves into his staff!
I wouldn’t have anything to fear if I had my magic…but I don’t!
Dammit, if I had my magic…I would totally break his second staff!
“You should’ve said so earlier.”
I want to crush that beaming smile of his!
And no, I don’t have a way of restoring that staff if it already burned.
……..I can only stall for time.
“So…..ahh, dad, don’t you have…any clothes I can wear?”
“Eh? Of course not. We could’ve made use of your mother’s clothes, but…”
“I guessed as much…”
Oh well, I guess I have to puff my chest with pride and give this world a bit of fanservice.
Being embarrassed? Never!
Probably, after returning to heaven…I’ll be a girl, but whatever!
I can probably ask around and see if I can use any of my old bodies.
Wait wait wait, I can consider all of these thoughts later!
Right now, I need to figure out how to kill myself!!
I seem to be forgetting something though…oh well.
“Woosh” “Woosh!” “Woosh”…
Countless arrows flew straight at me, cleverly avoiding dad.
If only I had my staff, I would’ve been able to erect a barrier! Is what dad is probably thinking.
Seventeen arrows…cleverly hit every vital point in my body.
Three went straight for my neck, two for my eye sockets, another two went straight for my heart, three cleverly tried to squeeze themselves through my stomach while the last seven each hit my shoulders, my thighs, my arms respectively and the last one went straight for the middle of my forehead!
This happened so fast that my body wasn’t able to react one bit to at least avoid a single arrow–or even deflect it from it’s target.
God dammit, this is why I hate not being able to use magic…
Boohoo, all you did was stand in place and look as I’ve been penetrated by these steel arrows.
And yet you call yourself a father!
“Don’t worry dad, I’m fine.”
As I said that, I quickly bent my hands in…well, a weird way to remove the arrows stuck within my my arms, then the shoulders and so on.
“God damn monster!”
This shout came from the woods.
Hrm, at first…I guessed that it was a single person who lived in the woods, who was pretty angry that we wrecked havoc in this place…and thus came for revenge.
It’s not weird to find those in seclusion really.
Heck, there are some elven villages in the middle of the woods, away from elven civilization!
My dad was one of those who lived in said villages.
Although, villages are quite rare as of the current era because of the dangers of monsters and bandits.
Because cities are absolutely merciless against monsters and bandits.
So, in turn, they targeted the defenseless villages…
But of course that lead to make the surviving villages more powerful, more cunning, and more frightened of the unnatural. Maybe.
“Dad…it looks like we invaded their territory, eh?”
I looked straight at my dad, who swallowed a mouthful of saliva before wearing a bitter smile.
“If only I had the staff, then I could’ve butchered them all in seconds…Now with your mother gone, how could I concentrate while casting?”
“Oho! So you got too used to using the staff, eh? And here I thought you were respected as a legendary figure.”
But it’s true, I don’t have a weapon and that guy doesn’t have his staff.
And of course, without my magic, I can butcher ‘em either.
So…right now, I’m nothing more than an ordinary zombie teenage girl.
No powers at all!
Except for immortality, but that doesn’t help me with killing!
“So, would you gentlemen show yourselves? I mean, you can’t enjoy the show from that far away…right?”
God dammit, if I had magic right now…I would’ve instructed dad to prepare some magic spells telepathically…since it seems they are actively avoiding hitting him.
Oh, if they’re avoiding hurting him…then doesn’t that mean that mum is safe as well? That’s a weight off my heart right there!
“Honorable Hero, Uirdaer, quickly! Away from the monster!”
So…ahh, let me get this straight.
Is it like that?
Is it like, they saw dad summoning a dragon to fight against me in their territory, me easily defeating the dragon, hitting dad and making him pass out, hitting mum’s pressure points in order to let her regain her mobility and the slap and everything else…as an act of aggression?
I mean…well, I can understand that if I saw it from an outsider’s view…well, ahh, so this is all a misunderstanding?
“Woosh” “Woosh!” “Woosh”…
“Hurry, lord Uirdaer, into the woods!”
“God dammit, more arrows!”
I quickly jumped on all fours and hugged the ground, as my insides began to bulge out of my body.
Yes, I’m currently looking like a mess…it’s like, I’m a zombie out of a gore movie…both of my eyes popped, my left boob has two holes in ‘em and my neck is in an utter disaster.
This looks quite bad…
And those bastards refuse to exit the woods so I can’t exactly give pursuit.
To begin with, I’m blind!
Oh well, my zombie ears are quite sensitive–so I can tell where the voice is coming from if I focus hard enough.
In a blink of an eye, the situation turned from bad to worse.