It’s not like I translated 2 chapters for you or anything B-baka! <3
Maiden of Happiness Liliana 3
It seems like I have no talent for magic.
The magic I admired so much didn’t work at all.
I couldn’t even make one ripple.
Being completely depressed, even Sensei felt bad for me.
Sensei, suddenly ended yesterday’s lesson in a panic.
And thus, I am now in my current state in my room, depressed and downhearted.
I know that it is bad manners, but I am currently sprawled out on top of my chair with no energy.
I am expressing my depression with my entire body.
Sensei said that he had felt the presence of magic coming from my body.
Which is why I believed that I could also use magic.
However, that was just a misunderstanding…
In fact, I had been pretending to ignore the possibility of not being about to do it.
「Perhaps…I am unable to use magic」
With no one else in the room, I quietly muttered to myself.
In my previous life, there was no such thing as magic in the world.
In that case, there was also no such thing as magic power.
Along with that, I am an irregular existence that remembers my previous life. What if, my magical power, just like my memories are inherited from my previous life?
……..It would be like that.
Haa, I droop farther down as I sighed.
Having this much of a reaction for just failing once might seem a little overboard.
However, just thinking a little everything starts to make sense.
I have already gone one year without my seals.
Sensei mentioned that the seals were in order to prevent magic from going out of control for younger people.
In other words, even a baby can use magic.
However, I have never used magic even once.
Sirius-sensei said that it is used by desiring a wish.
Humans are a mass of greed.
In the state where magic is needed to be sealed in order for it to not be used, having the limiters removed and not using magic is weird.
I am not a selfless human.
People that cannot use magic, I wonder how many there are in this world?
I think they’re close to nonexistent.
In that case, instead of being unable to use magic, the idea that magic is unable to be used due to not knowing how to use it is more likely.
The more I think about it the deeper the problem becomes.
At that moment there’s a knock on my door.
This is bad, it’s probably Sirius-sensei.
Since he’s a stickler for manners, I can’t imagine what he’ll say if he sees my current posture. I quickly straighten up my posture and sit up and back into my chair.
With this I’m good.
When I say, come in, the door slowly opens with a creak.
After all, this house is rundown.
「Liliana-sama, please excuse me」
Sensei, comes into my room with a troubled face.
I have even worried Sensei due to my lack of magic.
I guess I really am a bad student.
But, staying depressed won’t help anything.
If you do not accept reality, you will not be able to take the first step forward in life.
「Sensei, I have finally realized, I had been averting my eyes from the problem」
Even in a world of magic, it is not like everyone will be able to use magic.
I had a misunderstanding.
This is something that happens often in younger children, who think that they themselves are a special existence.
It’s too embarrassing.
This is what they call “Eight grade syndrome” right? (Chuunibyou)
「I was thinking perhaps in the corner of my heart, but I was too afraid to admit it」
Nobody wants to think that they have 0 magic.
「That’s right, yesterday when telling Liliana to think of her magic as a set number was a mistake. It is not within the bounds of common sense」
Sensei, I don’t think you have say that much about it.
This is an announcement of how Sensei actually feels about me.
Please stop trying to finish me off while I am already depressed.
「Liliana-sama, let’s try to make ripples today as well」
It’s a demon, this person is a demon.
「Sirius-sensei, I am worried, the same thing as yesterday may happen」
I furrow my brow.
Nobody would want to relive their own failure over and over again.
「It is alright, as long as you forget about thinking of your magic as a value of 100, it will succeed」
Was being conscience of my magic value, the reason I failed yesterday?
「Does Liliana-sama not trust in me?」
If you put it that way, then of course I’ll have to do it.
Today I also look at the peaceful pond.
It’s time for my revenge!
「Sirius-sensei, is it really okay to just imagine and ignore the amount of magic power?」
Sensei is standing 5 meters away from me and is watching over me.
「That is correct. In fact, just forget everything about magic」
Is thinking about magic bad?
If I do that, I feel like I have a bigger chance of failing though.
Even if I succeed in using magic, what happens if I run out of magic in the process?
Will it be a coma? Or will it be death??
「Sensei, please bury my bones」
I half seriously say that to Sensei.
This is because I trust you Sensei.
I approach the edge of the pond, after burning the image of the pond into my mind, I close my eyes.
Nothing but silence in the mind. Tranquility as if time has stopped.
The pond doesn’t even have one ripple in it.
The only thing there, is silence.
That is silence called harmony.
And the one breaking this silence, is me.
The one controlling this area is me.
Now, let’s cast the first stone.
With no decorations, I lay my words bare.
I put my hands together in a prayer and bring it to my chin.
「I pray that ripples will appear on the pond!」
I open my closed eyes timidly.
On the surface of the pond, were beautiful circles as if spreading like a sound.
The ripples that suddenly appeared, faded away.
「Sirius-sensei! I was able to make pretty ripples!!」
I have magic!
I can use magic!!
I energetically look back towards Sensei.
I had simply thought I failed due to lack of magic.
However, I just used magic.
「Without thinking of magic as a number, I was able to use it!」
As expected of Sensei.
It was good to believe in Sensei.
It is a secret that I slightly doubted him.
「Magic going out of control in the early ages is due to one thing. Except for a few exceptions, people are unable to use magic unless they place a numerical value on it」
Eh? Then what about me??
I reflexively tilt my head.
「However, babies can use magic without thinking of it as a numerical value. This is due to babies not having a body that can contain magic well. In order to obtain a body that can contain magic a baby’s body releases magic into the air since it cannot store it and using that magic, an infant’s desires are answered in the form of magic and those desires are from one that cannot distinguish right from wrong. The age children obtain a body that can contain magic and prevent it from leaking is around 3 years old」
Eh, please wait a moment.
With the flow of that story, that would mean….
「Liliana-sama’s body is not yet used to magic yet」
In other words, I am at the level of an infant!?
I take a 180 in emotion.
I was sent to the bottom of the ocean by Sensei.
In spite of having the same risk as a child instead of sealing magic to protect me, it became bad that I had never used it.
Is this the pattern that means my magic power is weak?
The evidence is that nothing had occurred even after removing my seals for a year.
Exactly how old am I now?
Hai, I am 8 years old!
Age that the body becomes familiarized with magic?
Hai, 3 years old!
This is bad.
This is very bad.
There were no major symptoms, but do I have a weak constitution?
Thinking about it, there is some evidence.
Until I turned 7 I used to stay in bed for fevers often.
Since I couldn’t learn the language that easily I had merely thought I was literally overheating from thinking too much.
I didn’t even leave the house until I turned 7.
It was full blown unhealthiness.
There is a limit to being an indoor person.
Why am I so useless!
Even though by appearance, I’ve grown to the same size as Miina-chan.
To not become familiar to magic because it is so weak…this is serious.
Mom! I’m sorry for blaming you in my mind before!!
If my magic is so weak, of course the seals would be released.
Rather, you would have expected my body to have gotten used to it by then.
Let’s work hard on fitness…
I secretly vow to start muscle training.
「Sensei, I have finally realized what kind of situation I am in」
Sensei, thoughtlessly nods at my announcement.
The last time I failed was due to the fact that the magic in my body was 0 due to not being able to contain it.
Of course it would fail in that case.
In that case, I did well by not hurting myself.
A miracle, indeed.
「Liliana-sama, if there comes a time where you imagine and imagine and yet nothing happens, please remember magic, a miracle will happen」
Eh? What do you mean??
Are you talking about if I use my fighting spirit and use up all of my weak magic in order to do something.
I’m certain that Sensei is a sadist.
「Hai, I understand」
I’m not one to fight against the status quo.
I need to work hard in order to familiarize my body to magic.
Then, maybe I can master the awareness of magic.
My magic is low.
That is an unchangeable truth.,
Then I will compensate with my imagination.
I have seen a lot of movies and pictures from modern society.
Things that you have seen before are easier to imagine.
In that particular field, I believe I have the advantage.
And I am also at the same starting point as everyone else.
At that time, I felt a presence from the pond.
I quickly turned around to look at the pond, but the presence had already disappeared.
Haa, I guess I imagined it….
I turn disappointedly towards Sirius-sensei.
For some reason, Sensei had on a sour face as if he had crushed a bug.