Shinka no Mi – Chapter 36

Translator: Fairy, Osura
Editor: Rumanshi

Fairy TL: I translated 魔物 as monsters. If you want it to be demons, I am fine.
Osura: TL killer #36, mortality count: 7; dangerous puns.

A very ordinary horse?
「It’s here huh……」
I who separated from Saria, safely reached the shop which sells horses, using the map drawn by Gassur.
Incidentally, the shop’s name is called『Monster Store』. On the noticeboard placed outside of the shop, 、『We sell cute demons who go straight to chewing your head whole』has been written on it.

…. Wtf!?
Wait a second! Could demons who chew heads whole really be cute?
No no, Milk-chan in Adoriaa san’ s house matches that description, but….!
I-if it become domesticated, they will be adorable, I guess…?
Before I enter the shop, the uneasy me resolves myself and step into the shop.

「Hm? Welcome! What kind of monsters are you looking for ? 」

When I enter the shop, the relatively handsome Ossan, seemingly full-of-energy, who has a cleanly shaved bald head/ Saitama Ossan called out.

「Etto… I want a horse.」

I promptly inform him of my intent that I wished for a horse.
And, the Ossan broadly grinned.
「Haha~. You’re participating in the upcoming tournament as well?」
「Eh? Tournament?」

As I heard this word out of nowhere, I reflexively gave out a stupid voice.
Looking at me, the Ossan realized his misunderstanding and smiled bitterly.
「Ahh, What the, I am mistaken. No, I am very sure that you will participate in the【Royal Cup】that is held this time round.」
「Ehh… What’s that?」

To my stupid question, the Ossan without feeling bothersome, taught me courteously.

「To put it simply, it is a 1 lap race around the Royal Capital castle walls. The monsters to be ridden on are of course the horse type. This race will determine the best rider in the Royal Capital. The winner of the race are always rewarded with a gift. Looking at your response, it seems you don’t plan to enter this race, do you. 」
「Err. To tell the truth, I am in the midst of a adventurer’s request, I was told that I will probably need to use a horse」
But… Race huh. Is that something like horse race ?
Well, from Ossan’s way of speaking, It seems like anyone can enter the race.
「I see. Well, come along I will show the horses that adventurers usually use.」

Being led by Ossan,when I enter into the depths of the shop, Wolf-type monsters, Clever Monkey-like monkey-type monsters, etc.. The various monsters are locked in strong-looking cages.

「We’re here. This one is what Adventurers usually use.」
「This is…..」

Within the cage that Ossan has guide me to, there are multiple black horses with silver scales on the flank and the legs.

「It’s a『Dragon Horse』type. Wild Dragon Horses are ferocious but if they are domesticated, they will listen to human’s orders and become a gentle horse. Since it has strength/power/horse power, it can pull carriages easily. In addition, if you ride it, the speed will be immense. 」
「Wow」
Dragon Horse huh.. Just by the name itself, sounds really cool and majestic.
Well, In the first place, there is no need for a horse itself so this horse seems good. By good fortune, I am blessed with tons of money.
「This Dragon Horse seems good. How much is it?」
「Let me see.. It will cost you 5 gold coins…. Ahh! I had forgotten to ask you….」

In the midst of telling me the cost of the horse, Ossan frantically enquired me.
「Do you have the 『Riding』 skill?」
「Riding Skill.. No, I do not have.」

「If that’s the case, this horse is impossible.」

「Eh!?」

It was said too suddenly so I am now stunned.

There’s such a skill as ‘Horseback riding’? Furthermore, even though I heard the skill name, it seems that even with my cheat skill I can’t acquire it.
To learn it, do (I) need to ride a horse at least once?
Thinking to that extent, I suddenly came across a good idea.
If hearing the skill name didn’t work, perhaps hearing about the method of horse riding will (activate/cause) the acquisition.
Thinking so, I decide to ask the ossan straight away.

“Oh! Though it seems like a weird thing, will you tell me how you ride a horse?”
“I cannot ride a horse!”
“What the hell……!”

Even though he sells monsters, it appears somehow or another that not just the Dragon Horse, he can’t ride the rest of the monsters either. チクショウ!’God damn it / Son of a bitch.’
When I was thinking about it, a robotic voice resounded in my head.
『All Language Comprehension Skill Activate ―――― Successful. You are now able to understand Dragon X Horse language.』

Eh? W-What (Wut?)
With such an abrupt development, I who was surprised, immediately understood the meaning of the words that was spoken just a while back/
Ah, I see. 『All Language Comprehension』is the skill which was obtained from the treasure chest when I defeated the black dragon god labyrinth.
Although it cannot be said to be a success in definite, but it is written that it will be effective on monsters as well and this time round, the skill has activated.
As I was thinking of that, I move look towards the Dragon Horses and trying listening to what those Dragon Horses were talking about/
It’s not like I can actually understand what horses are talking about.
Now, horses……what kind of conversation are you having!?
『Oi, that hood covered human… it seems like he can’t fucking ride a horse?』
『Uwaaa, laame.』
『Ora, Humans who can’t even ride a horse leave now immediately!』
『Dudes who can’t ride a horse, we will never follow their orders~』
Earth shattering regret.
…. I am being labelled as an Idiot by the horses….
If one were to notice, sweat is flowing out from my eyes. They aren’t tears. It’s not like that.
The Ossan who did not notice anything, continued talking normally to me who took a huge amount of damage mentally/emotionally.
「Besides, there are other horses that are geared towards beginners. If it’s those type of horses, you do not need riding skill as well. While riding the horse, you are also able to obtain the riding skill. 」
“Ah, is that so?

Oh, well if it’s like that then it’s fine.

On top of that, if it’s supposed to be for beginners then it’s perfect for me right now.

“Since just a while ago, there’s been exactly one left. Follow me.”

I’m once again guided by the ossan to a different cage.

“This guy is that one.”
“Oh!”

There was a sharp-looking horse with deer-like antlers and a beautiful, deep brown coat standing elegantly.
Different to the dragon-horses from before, he has a refined appearance. Also rather than scales he has horns.

“This guy’s species name is 『Dolt』.”
Fairy: It’s a pun . 馬鹿 which means Idiot
Osura: Deer/colt; dolt.

Although it has a harsh species name.
Dolt (ウマシカ)…… if put in kanji, it would mean 馬鹿 (baka/horse deer) right? Wasn’t there any better name?
Although it is true that it’s a horse with deer-like antlers……

“Although I said it’s geared towards beginners, but this guy is amazing in a lot of ways, you know? First, its horsepower is on another level. It’s double that of the Dragon Horse from before.”
“Double!?”

Dolt is amazing!

“Its speed is abnormal so it has the ability to overtake those even in the upper strata of horses. On top of that, it’s loyal, and not ferocious even in the wild unlike Dragon Horses. Well, overall it’s a good horse.”

It’s true! Its image is completely taking over the Dragon Horse from before!?
It loses in name, but in performance it’s unreal!
I’ve already engraved ‘This dolt is mine!’ into my heart.
But, the ossan walked over here and said something astonishing.

“But, you know? This guy is……to an astonishing degree, a dolt.”
“Exactly as the name!?”

To think that the ‘dolt’ really was a dolt!
To that astonishing truth, I unintentionally retorted and the ossan continued on.

“Hmm, to say to what extent of a dolt it is……first, it can’t reach its destination.”
“Already a fatal blow-!”
“It would forget that it has already eaten.”
“Seriously!?”
“It forgets who its owner is.”
“That’s the worst out of all of them!”
“And finally……it forgets to breathe.”
“It’ll die!?”
“Yeah. And because of that, it doesn’t even notice that it has died……”
“It’s the ultimate dolt, isn’t it!”

There’s no way to save it……!
Even though it’s got such damn uselessly dignifying features, when you take a look inside the gift horse’s mouth, It’s nothing more than a nag!
Those rare high-specs are completely going to waste!
I’m tired in a lot of ways because of the dolt that is full of opportunities to retort at.
While I’m catching my breath, I suddenly realise something.
……Why is it that the skill was able to unconditionally activate with the Dragon Horse, yet it won’t activate with the dolt?
When I tilt my head to that question, the ossan has, before I knew it, entered the cage.

“Well, while it’s true that he is a dolt, if you properly train him, he can be used as a proper horse. Okay!”

While saying that, the ossan hits the dolt’s neck.
……thud.
In that instant, the dolt, still in a standing position, falls in the opposite direction to that of which the ossan hit its neck from.
While looking at the dolt who has suddenly collapsed, the ossan says one thing.

“……Ah. It kicked the bucket.”

DOOOOOOOOOLT!
So it really ended up forgetting to breathe and died!? I’m pretty sure that’s not on the same level as ‘dolt’ anymore!?
So when I thought that the skill just wouldn’t activate, it was because it was dead!? Although it’s true that to a corpse, words don’t mean crap!
But the most idiotic-looking thing is, the dolt which should be dead is still wearing that dignified expression……!
Before acting all cool, do something about your head…….
I can’t help but feel pity for the dolt after his stupid act that went above and beyond in a direction I wasn’t expecting.
Then, the ossan who had been gazing at the dolt in silence for a while suddenly opens his mouth.

“Well, if he’s dead then there’s nothing we can do. I guess I’ll make him into basashi and eat him.”
“OSSAAAAAAAAN!”

Don’t you have any sense of affection! At least hold a memorial service for him……!
I wonder if he realised my feelings for he faced towards me and explained.
“You can eat dolt. That’s why, when they die, the owner always eats the dolt.”
“I see……”
“It’s all part of a ‘stable’ diet!”

I ignored the old man joke that the ossan made with all his might.

“But…… since this guy died, I only have two species left I can introduce to you……. Moreover, there are some special circumstances surrounding these two…….”
“Uhm……why?”

To my question, the ossan fell into thought for a moment, then guided me to another different cage.

“Well, it’s faster if you see it. Follow me.”

Like that I follow him to a cage that’s solidness can’t even be compared to the dolt or Dragon Horses’.
On top of that, rather than bars like those of before, the cage is completely covered in iron plates, and there doesn’t even seem to be any way to confirm what’s going on inside aside from a small window on the door.

“Listen, okay? This guy is a being that even I don’t understand.”
“Eh?”
“Since it has a somewhat horse-like appearance, I’ll introduce it to you, but……anyway, take a look.”

Then I, who was prompted by the ossan, peek inside the cage from the small window.

“OooooOOOOOOOOOOooooo”

I immediately shut the window.
……………….

“That’s weird……instead of a horse, I feel like I saw a monster……”

To confirm, I once again peek inside the cage from the small window.

“OooooOOOOOOOOOOooooo

Inside the cage, there was some kind of incomprehensible creature with yellow skin and walks on four legs, without eyes or a nose, and three mouths.
………….

“I didn’t imagine it……!”

That’s no horse! That’s a monster! On top of that, it’s more monster-like than the Dragon Horses or any of the monsters I’ve fought until now!
While I’m confused in a lot of ways, the ossan says with a serious tone,

“Yeah……as always, it’s incomprehensible. Over the years I’ve seen all kinds of monsters, but this one is the most nasty-looking one that I’ve seen. To tell the truth, it’s gross.”

Amazing. Its appearance is sufficient enough to cause even the person selling it to reel back.

I try peeking into the small window one last time to appraise it.

『Unidentified Life-Form Lv???』

It’s the rumoured UMAAAAAAA!?
That’s not a horse (uma), it’s a UMA (Unidentified Mysterious Animal)!
I thought it was strange! For it to be more monstrous than monsters!
On top of that, the level is a question mark!?

“O, ossan……I’ll ask anyway, but what’s with this UMA?”
“If I remember it correctly… when I was procuring feed for the horses and other monsters outside the castle walls, it fell from the sky. Well, that really surprised me!”
“That’s not the kind of story that would end with you just getting surprised”

It wasn’t a girl but a UMA that fell from the sky!? Even Ghi○li would be surprised!
When I’m making a stronger retort than normal, like the time with the Dragon Horses, a robotic voice resounds in my head.

『All Language Comprehension Skill Activate ―――― Successful. You are now able to understand Unidentified Life-Form language.』

It seems like it succeeded.
With this, I fulfilled humanity’s dream… I am able to establish contact with aliens!… Huh? Why is it that I’m not happy at all?
I timidly peek into the cage from the small window to try to listen to the UMA’s voice.

『…………KILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILL…………HUMANS、ABSOLUTELY、WON’T FORGIVE……』
“Ossan, let’s go see the last horse.”

I’ve decided that I never heard the UMA’s voice.
Yeah, I didn’t hear anything. That’s right, I didn’t hear any kind of grudge-filled voice……!

“Oh? You done with this fellow?”
“Yeah, I’m completely satisfied. I absolutely don’t want him so rest assured.”
“Is that right? Well, I guess that’s fine.”

I’m once more led by the ossan to a different cage.
Then, he furrows his brow.

“I’ll tell you straight, okay? The horse I’m about to show you is the one I can’t recommend the most.”
“Eh?”
“After all, it doesn’t listen to its master. Even if I try to get it to copulate to get it to birth a new horse, it kicks all the male horses away. That’s why, this girl hasn’t copulated once since birth. If any humans come close, she tries to kick them away; even me. Really, a mare that won’t give birth and just sits around is a waste of food and space. Well, as long as I don’t die naturally, I’ve made sure that she won’t be culled. I give her food, and I am at least going to look after her until the end, but……. The reason I feel like she is in the way might be partially my fault, so.”
“Ee? But if that’s the case, then the UMA from before is more dangerous right? I couldn’t sense any kind of friendly atmosphere from it. ”

As I say something blatantly obvious, the ossan heaves a huge sigh.

“It is true that in terms of degree of danger and obedience that monster is probably the worst. But, that guy has value in the form of being a creature I know nothing about. Since it still has value as goods in that aspect, the chance of it being sold is high. And this horse that I’m troubled about doesn’t have any value like that. Or rather, it loses even to a normal horse. Do you understand now? That horse is――――.”

I’m prompted by the ossan, and peek inside the cage.
It has a beautiful brown coat, smaller than the Dragon Horses and dolt……or rather smaller than normal horses by around a size, and its legs are strong-looking.
With long eyebrows and beautiful russet-coloured eyes, she is very beautiful, dignified and adorable.
That’s right, the horse that is inside the cage is a――――

“――――a donkey……!”

The ossan’s bitter cry resounds in the room.

Machine Translating to give a bit back to the community.
If you want to help support/encourage me, you can add me on Patreon.
(R18) Frequenting Brothels 9
E? Heibon desu yo?? Chapter 18
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38 Comments on "Shinka no Mi – Chapter 36"

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Tsukinotaku
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Thanks -^-

GM_Rusaku
Member

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/( ・`ω´・ ) ( •̀ ω •́ ) \
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| THANKS!! NEPU!! |
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Anonymous
Guest

My stomach busted open this chapter, funniest chapter

chad001
Guest

So what you’re saying is that it’s an [Ass]

XD

Thanks as usual!

Somewhere hiding
Guest

Just……. Wow
Thank you for the chapter

OneWhoStaresAtCliffs
Guest

Why do I I look forward to this so much.
Idiot mc. Smh

Kensei Seraph
Guest

I predict that it is going to eat the Seed of Evolution and evolve into a centaur.

Thanks for the chapter.

KneelToMeHuman
Guest

I laughed so much xD … best chapter(funnywise xD) I’ve read in a while 🙂

Rikeri
Guest

This chapter.. thanks for it.

Anonymous
Guest

Hilarious thank you for the chapter.

Mags
Guest

Female ass? he’s going to buy female ass? that sounds so wrong.

GonZ555
Member

Ooh~ ooh~ pick the UMA! Pick the UMA!

Stelvis
Guest

Ty for the chapter^^
Next harem member in way^^

D
Guest

third heroine?

gohankuten
Guest

So Eddie Murphy got a sex change operation lol. And how the hell is a species like the Dolt still alive in that world? It should have gone extinct ages ago lol.

Anonymous
Guest

they spawn naturaly, because if they need copulation, they are so dolt that it may spread to other species via interracials.

oninomad
Guest

Take a look around, clearly the dumber you are the easier it is to breed…

Crazyshadow
Guest

It hurts I can’t stop it it hurts to laugh

Euinori
Guest

Thanks >-<

Seinvolf
Member

Thank u always for ur great work…
^^…

Seiji tsukkomi going full blast in here…
XD…

libraryrocker
Guest

I almost died during the chapter several times. Thank you so much for all your hard work!!!!!

Seblak
Guest

Thanks for the chapter! i was desperate trying to see the chap as i got a lot of Database error

BakaGrappler
Guest

Iyo.
…How is it that this author introducing a species that’s too stupid to live seems par for the course? Funny, but it somehow feels appropriate to this world.

Icetealeaf
Guest

great chapter!
funny as hell

thank you!

Anonymous
Guest

Thanks for the chapter.

macktheknife56
Guest

The 1st Dolt kind of reminds me of the retard horse I saw Family Guy a long time go.

spoilerproof
Guest

thanks for the chapter~
dolt best horse~…………….meal.

deadtoxic
Guest

Too many retorts and puns in this chapter … Funniest one of Shinka till date XD

Thanks for the Chapter 🙂

Karval
Guest

It hurts! please stop making me laugh it hurts too much.

drazulkun
Guest

After I read “never copulated” and “donkey”,and furthermore….”she,” I instantly knew she will be harem member #3

oninomad
Guest

Incoming Tsundere Centaur.

fusiam
Guest

thank you

Gin Wolfstein
Guest

Ahaa!Hahaha!Ahaha!
Thaks for the chapter

wpDiscuz