Kumo desu ga, Nani ka? 283

I blame the (adopted) parents.

Ina Bauer

In figure skating, there is a move known as the Ina Bauer, as seen above.

283 – They were torn off

Incomprehensible. Though I was going to be the one doing the tearing off, why was mine torn off instead? It’s strange. I feel like I’ve caught a glimpse of a mystery of the world. Therefore, please contain your anger, I’m seriously begging you, Demon King-sama.

It’s that. Talking about breasts in front of the Demon King is taboo. Probably height as well. Since she’s small. Speaking of this amounts to risking one’s life, no doubt. I’m too afraid to speak about it.

Well, whether they’re torn off of whatever, they can be restored easily enough, but the Demon King’s eyes at that time gave me this unfathomable fear. That expression in her eyes somehow feels like something that could come from the pages of a horror manga. Dangerous, dangerous. Those eyes belong to someone who has already killed people. Ah, I’m sure the Demon King had the Human Slaughterer title or similar. For her, killing is normal.

Dammit. I was told by the Demon King not to take revenge upon the boobian, so just how can I vent this rage which has nowhere to go?


Sacrifice located. Today’s sacrifice is the well-known vampire girl-san. Let’s inquire about her current state of mind.

「No monkeys! I don’t want anything to do with monkeys again!」

While screaming about monkeys the moment she saw my face, vampire girl attempts to flee. How damn rude. Don’t think that you can escape from me, okay?

I immediately catch hold of vampire girl as she tries to flee. I seize her by the scruff of the neck, preventing her escape. As she still tries to move her feet despite that, vampire girl gets magnificently bent over.

Hmm. I look down at vampire girl’s body, while she thrashes around with her face forced up. She’s big as well. I’m not going to say where, but she’s certainly bigger than me. Shall I tear them off?

Eeeeekkk!? What!? What is it!?」

Perhaps she sensed my threatening mood, as vampire girl started crying while struggling. Umm, you’re too old to be crying still. Somehow, doesn’t it seem like she’s regressed to a baby? Is she going to be okay?

「What is occurring here?」

Maybe she heard vampire girl crying and shouting, as Felmina-chan walks in. Because of which, the moment she sees the unsightly state that vampire girl is in, she snorts in amusement. O… kay. It somehow seems like her gaze is totally showering vampire girl with contempt.

「It’s nothing.」

Perhaps her meagre pride was triggered, as she suddenly stands up straight as if her unsightly loss of self-control had never happened. But you know, I still have her by the scruff of the neck after all, so she’s almost in a silly Ina Bauer pose. On seeing that, Felmina-chan has a scornful smile again, and vampire girl’s face instantly turns red. You guys sure get along well huh.

「Erm. What’s with this situation?」

Once again some new guests arrive. Oni-kun and Mera. I thought it was an odd combination for a moment, but come to think of it since the two of them are having to take part in various discussions about the reorganisation of the armies it’s not strange for them to be meeting face to face I guess. Unlike the other armies, Oni-kun’s group and Mera’s group aren’t going through any large-scale replacements, but they still do have some minor adjustments taking place you know.

Having her shameful appearance seen by her attendant Mera, vampire girl struggles violently with her face a bright red. However, I don’t let go of my grip on the scruff of her neck. I’ll enjoy looking at this shameful appearance of vampire girl for a little longer. Ahh, this indescribable foolishness is healing my heart.

「Shiro-sama, ojou-sama is suffering.」

Mera spoke, unable to simply watch. Taking a look at her, her red face is gradually turning pale. Vampire girl is struggling quite seriously after all, so in turn I’ve kinda had to put a decent amount of strength into my grip on her neck. Though I’m gripping her from behind, it seems that I’ve stopped her breathing and her blood circulation.

While I’m sure she won’t die if I continue to keep my grip up, it seems like it could become troublesome so I reluctantly let go. After she suddenly becomes free when her body had been bent like a prawn, naturally vampire girl’s body succumbs to gravity and meets the ground. Since it was head first, she made a pretty decent “thud”. With tears in her eyes, vampire girl is now lying sprawled with her arms and legs outstretched. OMG, this is such fun.

The three people who saw me torment vampire girl, each have their own particular reaction. Despite having an expression that says “serves you right”, Felmina-chan’s cheeks are twitching. It seems like she’s filled with trepidation in her innermost thoughts that maybe one day she herself might be targeted with such treatment. Don’t worry, don’t worry. I won’t do it, I won’t do it. Almost certainly. Probably. Maybe. I think.

Despite being shocked, oni-kun has an expression indicating that he has nothing he can say. However, I can sense a reproachful look towards me in his eyes. Yup, you want to tell me not to do things that people hate, right oni-kun? Don’t worry, don’t worry. With repeated “training”, eventually even bullying can cause feelings of ecstasy, as stated in bondage-type adult games. As for whether is vampire girl is actually an S or an M, I think she’s an M.

Mera might be expressionless but his face is full of affection, as if he is a nursery teacher watching children frolic about. Are you her guardian? Yup, he is. Mera-san, hey Mera-san? This girl has grown up to be quite pitiful, but are you really okay with taking such an indulgent stance? Umm okay, so it was me who forced her into such a shameful scene though.

Vampire girl slowly stands up, dusting down her clothes. After deliberately clearing her throat, she turns around with a straight face.

「Goshujin-sama, when you have some task for me then please call out to me normally.」

What are you spouting off about when you’re the one who tried to run away the instant you saw my face, before I even had a chance to call out to you. It seems she wants to pretend that the shameful scene just now never happened. Well, it was fully witnessed by more than half the people here though.

But still, a task, huh. Actually, a task came up while this little comedy skit was taking place.

I lay a hand on vampire girl’s shoulder. And then, we teleport. Our destination, is Natsume-kun’s location.

「……Goshujin-sama, if you have some task for me then please actually call out to me normally.」

Vampire girl is saying something but I ignore it. On hearing that voice, two people who were originally in this room turn around to face us. One is the owner of this room, Natsume-kun. The other is imouto-chan.

However, there is another person in this room, sitting on a chair. That person is staring into empty space with a vacant expression. That person is Hasebe-san, a candidate for becoming the next Saint.

Yup. They actually made a move on this girl who is under the auspices of the Divine Word Religion. The face of the pope comes to my mind. Another fine mess, perhaps.


Translation notes:

“Today’s sacrifice is the well-known vampire girl-san” – this spoken is a formal manner, like an announcer introducing someone.

“bent like a prawn” – in the dictionary I used it said that the phrase used here means “holding out one or both hands and arching one’s body backward like a shrimp (in kabuki, represents being overwhelmed by someone’s power)”.

For reference, Hasebe’s in-world name is Yuri. She also attends the same academy as Shun, Katia, Sue etc.

Kumo desu ga, Nani ka? A flat chest is a status symbol!
Kumo desu ga, Nani ka? The Third Informal Conference ①

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Poor Sophia…. She really is suffering.


This was quite a lot funnier after searching what Ina Bauer meant 😛


” Don’t worry, don’t worry. I won’t do it, I won’t do it. Almost certainly. Probably. Maybe. I think.”
shouldn’t vampire-girl, be renamed to sacrifice-girl?


nai wa~

child abuse!


Vampire girls need love too! What happened to the motherly feelings?


They faded away as Vampire Girl grew up and developed larger breasts than Shiro.


I think those faded the moment Shiro walked in on the Vampire girl’s rise to adulthood.


Meatbun delivery~
Thank you for the chapter ( ●w●)

This is Child aboose! Vampire kid is an endagered species!
*starts a protest*


Oh man, Shiro’s way more cognizant of her subordinates’ feelings and issues than she’s appeared to be thus far.

The only reason we’re finding out now is because she shifted from “ignoring it because I don’t care/it’s too much work” to “ignoring it because their reactions are fun”.


Is it just me…or does it seem like she might be becoming more and more like D?

She’s “having fun teasing people” and stuff like that. I guess that fragment of D’s soul probably had a fairly significant effect after all, haha. =x


Well, à part of her soul is D, so I wouldn’t actually be surprised if she ends up being the same


Thanks for the chapter,
Queen Shiro takes the stage


Sophia already become villager A from game hahaha


Anyone else read the:
“Today’s sacrifice is the well-known vampire girl-san” – this spoken is a formal manner, like an announcer introducing someone.

in a shiro announcer kinda voice like in carnival phantasm?


Is it wrong to have a boner from this?


anyway….since when where shiro-chan and vampire girl (almost forgot that she was named Sophia) not pettankos ?!?!?!?!?!?!?

In my mind they where…………


Or at lest not bakunyuu. Shiro was ven mentioned to be of the slender type. That is actually something I don’t like about LN in general, since is always one extreme or the other never middle road.


Shiro is not pettanko since she was an arachne, described by old-man Ronant.

Vampire girl? I thought she was described alluring since her academy year but there is no specific description then. The image of her from LN just came out later recently.


Shiro has always been a well-endowed girl you know, during the time she travelled with baby Sophia and Ariel in that one incident at the Adventurer’s Guild she have been mentioned to be the “slender under the clothes” type, which means she’s bigger then her clothes suggests. Also during her evolution to Arachne she mentioned that “there’s no way men would have breasts this swollen”.

Sophia is… idk, i doubt a pettanko would be able to charm men into doing that they did to her, even with a skill they wouldn’t be THAT smittened.


seriously, I hate Natsume, why haven’t we gotten to the part where he dies again?


Well to be fair he’s not as bad as we thought. Yeah he was a little shit as a kid who was destined to be trash. But the him we met later was already mentally twisted into Shiro’s puppet.

It’s hard to say how much of him was even left.


No, he would totally have become the way he became even without Shiro’s intervention. She just gave him a little ‘nudge’ to accelerate it.

She basically put him under her thumb in this way to prevent him from doing TOO much w/o her saying so. Plus, if he gets out of line, she can “garble” him like she did fairly recently so he’d simply see her as Shiro. XD


Before he was leashed by Shiro he force Shun on a duel and if his strength alone couldn’t win the match he plan to release a drake to mess them up.

He bet is a douchebag whether his mind was interfered or not.


Again not saying he’s not a douche but the him near the end of the Shun side stories was completely insane and I think Shiro had a fair hand in that.

He’s still a bastard though.


actually what Shiro did is just giving her a controller to his mind( as we saw her use it a few chapters back), the rest of what he did is purely what he wanted to do.


I found it really funny and also cruel,poor Sophia she has to get bullied even after dying and reincarnating,we hope things get better for her at some point,since she’s always suffering in a physical or psychological way,still I always enjoy for some reason to see her in those kinds of situations,also thanks for the translation! 😀


Thanks for the chapters.
At least Sophia didn’t get eaten by Shiro this time. LOL.

I did not like Shiro in this chapter. At this point she is only someone abusive who can’t control their impulses. She is like that already since quite some time but it’s getting worse. I hope she learns some self control. Anyway, let’s see what we are missing until the much anticipated confrontation at the end of the elf village battle. 1) Natsume needs to be set up as the hero. I guess this requires … 2) another conference with the pope. 3) katia needs to be brainwashed. (Maybe not worth a chapter) 4) Sue kills the king. 5) The… Read more »
A few things to keep in mind in your list… 9. There doesn’t necessarily need to be any setup for this, though it wouldn’t surprise me if Shiro DID do this to try and manipulate him into believing in her. If you recall, something SIMILAR happened to Shiro back when she was just Kumo-chan and her Taboo was about 1/2-3/4 the way to max. 10. I can’t help but think they DID report this to her (either that or she has the small spiders w/them that relay things for them/her). It seems like they are priming him and the others… Read more »

thank you for the translation

Reaper Phoenix

Thanks 4 the chapter!

Shiro is an S.


Oh, this is that part then.
Thank you for the chapter!


Thank you for the chapter!!!
Poor Sophia…but I can’t stop laughing throughout the chapter (๑ ˃̵͈́▽˂̵͈̀ )ノシ))



Thanks so much for all your hard work!!!!

(No boobs were harmed in the making of this chapter.)


“Despite being shocked, oni-kun has an expression indicating that he has nothing he can say. However, I can sense a reproachful look towards me in his eyes. Yup, you want to tell me not to do things that people hate, right oni-kun? ”

They can now communicate without even words. Just eye contact.
No one else can do this.
Read through the whole thing, you’ll see what I mean.

Oni x Kumo ship please fly.


I just can’t imagine my Kumo having big melons… Sofia too… though I’d laugh for days if Wrath had boobs (>~<)

Thnx for the chappy~ Nanodesu~


I’m honestly supprised shiro didn’t retaliate against the maou after getting her boob crushed. Shes flown off the handle for less (especially with sacrifice girl A). goes to show the power of the anime social contract where anger mentally overpowers all opposition


What is Incomprensible? I googled it and it’s a spanish for incomprehensible(?) XDD Is the spanish intentional?


Don’t worry, don’t worry. I won’t do it, I won’t do it. Almost certainly. Probably. Maybe. I think.
^ Pity the vampire girl more Felmina-chan … cause she’s most likely gonna get the brunt of the “rewards” meant for you too XD


If shiro exists outside of the system, how did the demon king hurt her? Shiro is supposedly immune to anything that they could throw at her from inside system. Except space magic.

Not exactly. It had been explained before that the stats within the System is merely strengthening magic being applied. Or something like that. At any case, Shiro can bulldoze through the stat system, like she did during the time Ariel, her, Mera and Sophia wee travelling (I think, been a long time since I re-read the entire series). She explained this point as well (again, my memory is fuzzy so I might be mistaken). So it should be safe to assume that Shiro that time didn’t have her “stats” beyond the system limits. And seeing their relationship, I Shiro doesn’t… Read more »
Setsuyume Edenfault

Thank you very much for this chapter! That said, I didn’t like it. Why Sophia has to suffer so much, even though she didn’t do anything?

I wanted someone to give Shiro a good beating! Or at the very least a caffeine attack!


In the distant future:
Hero meets Vampire.
Vampire trains Hero.
Hero defeated during end of season battle against arch enemy.
Vampire sends Hero to her Master, with a look of pure fear in her eyes.
Hero meets Shiro.
Hero requests training.
Shiro declines.
Hero returns with that food.
Nai wa~
Shiro trains Hero.
Hero dies.
Nai wa~ Heroes too weak ya know?
Shiro eats that food.
Wasting food is bad.
Better not waste the corpse then.
Hero revived by deus ex machina.

While being eaten.
Hero beats Demon King.
Hero retires.
Shiro comes for more of that food.
Hero has heart attack.


Everyone’s comments are about Sophia…. Dude, Ariel tore off Shiro’s boobs. Stew on that for a minute and tell me who’s more pitable.


Thanks for the chapter.

In other news, chapter 12.2 of the manga has an image of Maho Shojo Kumo-chan.


「……Goshujin-sama, if you have some task for me then please actually call out to me normally.」

the second time she says:
「……Goshujin-sama, if you have some task for me then please take action after calling out to me」